Sat | Jan 19, 2019

It was this close

Published:Sunday | October 26, 2014 | 12:00 AM

Shanice Dixon, Contributor

Clad in a bronze-coloured shirt, blue jeans and black shoes, he was the statue that captured my eyes in the park. His smile and decorum had a magnetic force and I could feel the attraction pulling on my end. I had to know him. I wanted to know him. I wanted to know more than just the physical appearance. To me, he was handsome and his smile was so captivating. How much I wanted to know, I can't explain. True beauty is not what is on the outside. It is what lies within so I made the first step.

We became friends and gradually, I tried to know him better, though impeded by resistance. Nevertheless, my heart refused to accept defeat and the bare bone of information that I had gathered about him eventually gained flesh.

One year later, I had fallen in love with him. It was then I realised how much I loved him. I showed and proved to him that I cared, I wanted to accept and appreciate him for who he was. I was willing to make him my world and do anything for him. I made him a priority and was willing to make sacrifices, but eventually my mind became a battlefield. It was this close.

While I was willing to go more than an extra mile, he was only interested in this close. I called, text, tried to make him feel loved, wanted, cared for and was willing to spend time with him but he was only interested in this close.


Sometimes he would treat me unfairly, but I continued to love just the same because I wanted him this close. I loved him. It was this close to happening. Now I wished I had just admired him and kept it to myself to save me from the wounds on the battlefield called love. It was this close. It was this close to happening.

Force is both good and bad. However, for good I apply an even greater and tighter force to the cookie jar. I refuse to invest with little to no return and I refuse to accept below my standards. It was this close.

I loved him tremendously. It was this close to happening. It was this close of giving my Virgin-brand cookies away.