Sun | Aug 20, 2017

Enjoy your single life

Published:Monday | September 14, 2015 | 9:00 AM
Lyston
Wedding rings
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I believe being married is the number one thing on the list of every single woman. Many want to get married even more than getting an education. Some believe that there is a shortage of men, particularly in the church.

Many single women make compromises which lead to hurt, joining themselves in unholy yokes and wrong relationships. However, let me encourage you; don't be in a rush to get married.

People will often complain that they do not want to remain single because of their age, and they want to fulfil sexual desires. However, getting married means more than that. Marriage is a lifetime covenant, and God uses the time that you are single to process you. He wants to correct the flaws, attitudes or mindset that you might have about relationships and marriage. Furthermore, God wants to bring healing to you from past hurts and broken relationships.

Some people say, as the saying goes, 'marriage is a bed of roses'. They are absolutely right, because there are a lot of 'thorns' that can prick you. The Mills & Boon perspective is a fantasy - that the perfectly chiselled man and the woman with the perfect body marries and lives happily ever after. However, marriage is about suppressing your desires and embracing the 'us', 'our', and 'we' in the relationship.

Many women who are entrepreneurs or other business professionals don't believe that man is the head of the family, so submission can be a factor that can terminate marriage quickly.

Many women don't know what they want, or who they are looking for. When asked, many suggest the following: lots of money, good sex, a strong man, an intellectual, someone like daddy, childless, white or brown - no black, no police, soldier or uniformed men and no pastor.

In God's view, none of the above matters when preparing you for marriage. What is important is your purpose and your choice - whether the person lines up with God's vision and purpose for your life. You could marry a man who kills your vision and purpose. So you have to ensure that God fits you with the right rib. In a sense, it is like how the parts of a Lexus and Benz don't work together.

 

GOD'S CHOICE VS OWN

 

So many women feel that their life is not complete because what they wanted for their life was hindered by their husbands. In spite of this, many women reject God's will and choice of a husband only to become unhappy with their own choice. They submit to the pressures of family, social standing, race or other factors, and end up regretful about their marriage.

In preparing you for marriage, God will carry you through hardships to help you to receive the necessary Grace, and to match you with the individual you will marry - for example, if you are meant to marry VIPs, politicians, pastors, ambassadors or politicians. These are people who are continually in the limelight and you have to have a particular grace to deal with that status. God is preparing you for the grace to deal with the marriage you are meant to have.

In choosing your partner, seek God to find out what type of person it should be. It is not about your will, but God's will. God wants you to marry someone who fears Him, because only through Christ all things are possible. The man has to love God more than he loves you. He has to make a commitment to support your God-given vision and will not kill your purpose. He has to love you and look beyond looks, sex, or influence because when those things are gone, he will be gone, too. He must agree with your faith and belief in God.

If you have children, he has to accept them as his own; likewise, you would accept his children. Age and money don't matter in selecting or preparing for a husband. God can send a man your way who is broke, but he is a millionaire in the making. It's not about the finished product; sometimes it is about the work in progress.

Marriage is not about the wedding day you dream of, but about the life and challenges that will come afterwards. These include simple things like closet space or snoring, credit cards, sexual desires, the in-laws, health or hygiene problems.

There is a difference between a wife and a woman, which is why the Bible says,"He that finds a wife finds a good thing and gets favour from the Lord."

Remember, grace comes with favour. The quickest way for a single individual to find their spouse is to volunteer, serve, or fully engage in the service of the Lord. When a single person honours God, God will honour them.

I invite all single/unmarried person to read Genesis 24 and get a revelation.

- Steve Lyston is a biblical economics consultant and author of several books, including 'End Time Finance' and 'The New Millionaire'.