Mon | Jan 21, 2019

A treatise on idiocy

Published:Monday | September 21, 2015 | 12:00 AM

The word 'idiot' is now considered offensive. It describes someone with profound mental retardation who is unable to learn anything. Although it is no longer politically correct to say this, unfortunately, we have several categories of idiots wreaking havoc at every level of our society.

Perhaps the most dangerous idiot belongs to the absentee-dad category. These roving penises sniff out female victims into which they can deposit their seed. Of course, some of the females who provide the fertile bed for unconscionable sperm donors are idiots themselves. But many women are wooed by romantic preludes to intercourse. They envision the relationship in its entirety, including an expected long-term friendship and mature behaviour.

Idiot absentee dads cause pain, crime and violence in our country. Research has shown that, across the board, the absence of a responsible father (or father figure) contributes to male criminality more than anything else, including poverty and a bad social environment.

Given the serious ramifications of the idiot absentee-dad's desertion of their responsibilities, we should be making life so hard for them that they will holster or sheath their privates instead of firing off wild shots all over the place.

Then there are the miscreant idiots who somehow believe that crime pays. Sure, thieves of all sorts seem to get along just fine in the short term but, it's true what they say - thieves don't prosper. The same holds true for 'scammers'. These idiots either trip themselves up, get killed by their fellow miscreant idiots, part quickly with their ill-gotten gains, end up worse off than before, or stress society so much that they make life extremely difficult for everybody (including themselves).

Scammers would fare much better if only they would put their brains to work constructively. But I guess that would be expecting too much from them. After all, they are idiots.




Try as I might, I keep coming back to our road-hog idiots. There is a huge difference between 'brave' and 'fearless'. A brave person has the good sense to feel fearful. Under the right circumstances, he or she acts in the face of fear for a greater good. Fearless individuals are too ignorant and/or foolish to experience fear. Their actions are thoughtless, selfish and dangerous.

Road-hog idiots are totally fearless. Only a bona fide idiot overtakes around blind corners, over the brow of hills, into oncoming traffic, or just for the heck of it and at high speed.

Only perfect idiots ride your rear bumper, disregard traffic signs/lights, cut off other road users and sound their horns to annoy you into entering a main thoroughfare when vehicles are approaching. Those actions do not require any skill; they only take the IQ of an idiot.

Now that there is the faint scent of an election in the air, the political idiots are making their presence felt. Not everyone who participates in 'politics' is an idiot. And, I am certainly not alluding that politicians are idiots; however, a significant number of players actively involved in politics are idiots because they persist in maintaining that political representatives must 'let off sup'n' or they won't support them at the polls.

These idiots insist that politicians must reciprocate their fealty, or else. It's these same political idiots who select our leaders based solely on their self-interest. It, therefore, stands to reason that whomever the delegates select for election may be chosen because of what the delegates perceive as the candidate's ability to prevail against opposition and, in so doing, be able to 'do sup'n' for them.

It seems as if we are as 'salt' as Lot's wife because, ostensibly, there is no paucity of inescapable idiocy around here. Given that idiot absentee dads, miscreant idiots, road-hog idiots and political idiots are causing and perpetrating crimes, making our roads and homes unsafe, and deciding on the people who will lead our country, what does it say about the rest of us?

- Garth A. Rattray is a medical doctor with a family practice. Email feedback to and