Sat | Sep 23, 2017

Carolyn Cooper | Di attorney general lik her head

Published:Sunday | June 19, 2016 | 6:00 AM

 

CHAKA-CHAKA SPELLING

 

Marlene Malahoo Forte no ready fi prime time. Look how shi draw down scandal pon Jamaica wid her fool-fool tweet gainst di American embassy rainbow flag! Look how much bad name Jamaica have! Dem have it fi seh wi a di worst country eena di whole-a world fi fight gainst homosexual. An fi wi owna attorney general a carry we down?

All over di world, people sorry fi di murderation eena di gay bar. An, yes, di attorney general seh shi sorry, too. But when shi go add on bout American embassy a disrespect Jamaica law wid dem rainbow flag, it sound like seh wi got one law gainst di flag. Marlene Malahoo Forte a big-big attorney general an shi no know Jamaica law?

Pon top a dat, wen pressure drop pon Malahoo Forte bout her tweet, shi turn round seh wi a 'misconstrue' weh shi did seh. Misconstrue mi backside! Better shi did just seh shi sorry an no try mek it look like seh everybody a tell lie pon her. Mi a feminist. An mi glad fi see woman get big work. But wen dem can't manage di work, dem mek tings bad fi di rest a wi. Mek di man dem tek di whole a wi fi eedyat.

Marlene Malahoo Forte judgement no good. So a how come shi turn attorney general? Whosoever gi her di attorney general work, dat deh smaddy judgement bad same way. A friend an company business a run tings. An a same so di two party dem dweet. Wen election done, everybody weh di last govament put een, dem lose fi dem work. Dat no mek no sense.

If people a do dem work good, dem fi kip it. Wa mek yu a go shoob dem outa di work an put een one next smaddy weh no know wa dem a do? Dem got ongle one qualification. Dem belongs to di party eena power. Eena dem ya time, wi ha fi do better dan dat. A dem deh eedyat runnings a keep Jamaica back.

 

BACKWARD LAW

 

Instead a Malahoo Forte a tweet seh US Embassy a disrespect Jamaica law chruu dem put up fi dem rainbow flag eena fi dem owna yard, shi should-a seh a high time Jamaica change fi wi backward law gainst certain kind a sex act. Wa big people do eena fi dem owna bedroom an fi dem nightclub a fi dem business. Wi fi lef dem in peace.

Marlene Malahoo Forte come een just like some a dem fool-fool dancehall DJ. It look like seh she a look a forward offa homosexual business. She done know seh eena Jamaica, from yu start burn fire pon certain people, di whole heap a hypocrital Christian dem a go big yu up. Yes, dem hypocritical. Some a dem tek wa dem waan outa di Bible an left back wa no suit dem.

Di said same book a Leviticus wa call down judgement pon homosexual, it burn fire pon fornicator an adulterer. An mi no hear di Christian dem a talk bout dat to dat. Must be ongle Andrews Memorial Hospital one a threaten fi fire all a di fornicator an adulterer dem weh dem ketch. Mi no wid dat. Look how much time a go waste a follow-follow back a di worker dem a watch-watch dem sex life!

Den mi hear seh one big rainbow did deh eena di sky di said same day Marlene Malahoo Forte a tweet gainst di US Embassy. It look like seh Massa God no respect Jamaica backward law. Di rainbow a judgement pon Malahoo Forte. Shi fi lose di attorney general work.

 

PRAPA-PRAPA SPELIN

 

Marlene Malahoo Forte no redi fi praim taim. Luk ou shi jraa dong skyandal pan Jamieka wid ar fuul-fuul twiit gens di Amerikan embasi rienbou flag! Luk umoch bad niem Jamieka av! Dem av it fi se wi a di wos konchri iina di uola worl fi fait gens uomoseksual. An fi wi uona atorni jinaral a kyari wi dong?

Aal uova di worl, piipl sari fi di mordarieshan iina di gie bar. An yes, di atorni jinaral se shi sari tu. Bot wen shi go ad aan bout Amerikan embasi a disrispek Jamieka laa wid dem rienbou flag, it soun laik se wi gat wan laa gens di flag. Marlene Malahoo Forte a big-big atorni jinaral an shi no nuo Jamieka laa?

Pan tap a dat, wen presha jrap pan Malahoo Forte bout ar twiit, shi ton rong se wi a 'misconstrue' we shi did se. Misconstrue mi baksaid! Beta shi did jos se shi sari an no chrai mek it luk laik se evribadi a tel lai pan ar. Mi a feminis. An mi glad fi si uman get big wok. Bot wen dem kyaahn manij di wok, dem mek tingz bad fi di res a wi. Mek di man dem tek di uol a wi fi iidyat.

Marlene Malahoo Forte jojment no gud. So a ou kom shi ton atorni jinaral? Uusueva gi ar di atorni jinaral wok, dat de smadi jojment bad siem wie. A fren an kompini bizniz a ron tingz. An a siem so di tuu paati dem dwiit. Wen ilekshan don, evribadi we di laas govament put iin, dem luuz fi dem wok. Dat no mek no sens.

If piipl a du dem wok gud, dem fi kip it. Wa mek yu a go shub dem outa di wok an put iin wan neks smadi we no nuo wa dem a du? Dem gat ongl wan kwalifikieshan. Dem bilongz tu di paati iina powa. Iina dem ya taim, wi a fi du beta dan dat. A dem de iidyat ronins a kip Jamieka bak.

 

BAKWOD LAA

 

Insted a Malahoo Forte a twiit se US Embasi a disrispek Jamieka laa chruu dem put up fi dem rienbuo flag iina fi dem uona yaad, shi shuda se a ai taim Jamieka chienj fi wi bakwod laa gens sortn kain a seks ak. Wa big piipl du iina fi dem uona bedruum an fi dem nait klob a fi dem bizniz. Wi fi lef dem in piis.

Marlene Malahoo Forte kom iin jos laik som a dem fuul-fuul daansaal DJ. It luk laik se shi a luk a faawod aafa uomoseksual bizniz. Shi don nuo se iina Jamieka, fram yu staat bon faiya pan sortn piipl, di uol iip a ipokritikal krischan dem a go big yu op. Yes, dem ipokritikal. Som a dem tek wa dem waan outa di Baibl an lef bak wa no suut dem.

Di sed siem buk a Leviticus wa kaal dong jojment pan uomoseksual, it bon faiya pan faanikieta an adoltara. An mi no ier di Krischan dem a taak bout dat tu dat. Mosi ongl Andrews Memorial Hospital wan a chretn fi faiya aal a di faanikieta an adoltara dem we dem kech. Mi no wid dat. Luk umoch taim a go wies a fala-fala bak a di worka dem a wach-wach dem seks laif!

Den mi ier se wan big rienbou did de iina di skai di sed siem die Marlene Malahoo Forte a twiit gens di US Embasi. It luk laik se Maasa Gad no rispek Jamieka bakwod laa. Di rienbou a jojment pan Malahoo Forte. Shi fi luuz di atorni jinaral wok.

- Carolyn Cooper is a consultant on culture and development. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and karokupa@gmail.com.