Gordon Robinson | International Domino Awards 2016
Since we last handed out these coveted Domino Awards, the man I introduced in 2016 as "the best domino player I know", Sandy Park elder, adviser and protector known to all and sundry as 'Bas', unfortunately passed away. As promised, Mauva and I visited him while he was ailing and we mourned with Sandy Park when he left. Bas was Jamaican through and through, and a kinder, gentler, more sensible human being or one more committed to his community hasn't lived.
These are the eighth annual Domino Awards (who'd have thunk it?) named for the Khooky Khast of Kharacters from my teenage domino-playing years; meant to humorously portray each's individuality; and, unless otherwise advised, are NOT to be taken seriously. For example, there was the Dunce, who fell from a tree as a child, since which time he's lived in his own happy-go-lucky world and developed his own philosophy, "If a macca, mek it jook yu."
Now, the awards:
The Dunce Award: No, not him (too easy). This year's awardee is former United Kingdom Prime Minister DAVID CAMERON for his silly, unnecessary Brexit referendum and his overconfident, arrogant approach to the event itself. Surely, he understood every Brit above 50 wanted to 'Make Britain White Again', and youngsters who'd achieved legitimacy wanted borders closed behind them. He grossly miscalculated the reach of Trumpism (torrential rain in London on the day didn't help) and it cost him his political career. Fret not thyself, DC, we'll soon have a brand new £25-million facility for you to stay in a pinch. The Dunce says to tell you, "If a macca, mek it jook yu."
The Dunce Move of the Year Award:
No, not him. I won't be tempted, no matter how often he tweets. It's trivia time! Who said in February 2012: "Donald Trump has shown an extraordinary ability to understand how our economy works."
I'll give you a hint. The same man said THIS in 2016: "Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud. His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University. He's playing members of the American public for suckers: He gets a free ride to the White House, and all we get is a lousy hat."
Our mystery man delivered a brutal broadside against Trump: "Dishonesty is Donald Trump's hallmark," using, as examples of this, Trump's "bullying, the greed, the showing off, the misogyny, the absurd third-grade theatrics".
Not done. Yet. One more clue? Okay, then, this guy was recently seen, head bowed, entering Trump Tower to grovel before The Donald and be interviewed for the post of secretary of state. Surely, you've got it by now (drum roll, please).
The winner of the 2016 Dunce Move Award (trumpets) is MITT ROMNEY. All that's left to decide is which of his Dunce Moves to inscribe on the trophy.
International Personality of the Year: This year, USAIN ST LEO BOLT transcended national boundaries and became a truly international symbol of excellence. As dominant at 30 as he was in Beijing at 22, although with a few more creaking bones, he devastated rivals to record an almost unbelievable triple-triple.
Collecting 21 Olympic and World Championships medals (19 gold), Usain cemented his legacy as the greatest sprinter of all time and marketed himself and Jamaica with his signature 'hushing' of the crowd before races and 'To the World' lightning Bolt pose afterwards.
But, it's Usain, the human being, that cements selection for this award. Never forgetting his roots, his contribution to community and country is without parallel in local athletics history. Usain's philanthropy has repeatedly created opportunities for the development of his Sherwood Content hometown. Whether on his own or via his Usain Bolt Foundation, Usain has:
- Presented PE gear to all children and teachers at the Piedmont Basic School and electrically rewired the school;
- Contributed to the Pan Caribbean Sigma Corporate Run towards helping the Bustamante Hospital for Children;
- Donated autographed items for special charity events;
- Contributed to completing construction of a lunchroom and library at William Knibb Memorial High School and provided computers for Waldensia Primary School;
- Partnered with Sagicor to contribute to the salary for the computer studies tutor;
- In 2009, raised well-needed funds through his 9.58 Super Party to upgrade the Sherwood Content Health Centre, now open for full use to the community as a Type One facility.
USAIN ST LEO BOLT, born Jamaican but now world citizen, is 2016's International Man of the Year.
Peace and love.
- Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to firstname.lastname@example.org.