Sun | Aug 20, 2017

Michael Abrahams | Woman to woman can be so unjust

Published:Monday | June 5, 2017 | 6:35 AMMichael Abrahams

Women. Damn, I love them. They are the most wonderful and fascinating inhabitants of the planet.

But why are women so mean to one another? James Brown sang, "It's a man's, man's, man's world," and it's true. Men are in charge of the third rock from the Sun. But if women were to unite, they would definitely be running things. So, why don't they?

Some women just love to tear down each other. There are women who are cantankerous viragos who will draw negative energy to themselves. But some will be just going along, minding their own business, and attract a trail of haters.

I recall an incident at my practice one morning, many years ago. When I called a patient into my office, she entered wearing a scowl on her face, mumbling angrily. I asked her what was wrong, and she unloaded. She ranted about another patient of mine who was in the waiting area.

"Me cyan tek da gyal deh. She too nuff!" she complained.

I asked her to describe the person, and when I looked in the lobby, I saw another patient of mine, an attractive young lady, talking quietly on her cell phone, with a smile on her face. I had known this woman for quite a while, and found her to be very warm and friendly.

I returned to my office and asked the disgruntled patient what the women outside did to her. She replied, "Nothing." I asked her if she knew the woman. "No", was her answer. So, I asked her what was the cause of her distress, and she told me that she just did not like her because she was "too much". I was like, "Alrighty then. Now tell me about your vagina."

I was seriously disturbed by that encounter. Like the lady in the waiting area, I was rather fond of the patient sitting in front of me, and was floored by the unprovoked tirade.

But this type of stuff is very common among women. They will just see other females and decide that they do not like them. I have heard many women say that they do not have female friends. On the other hand, I have never heard a man say that he does not have any male friends. There is a question that I often ask attractive women, and the answer is always in the affirmative. I enquire if they have ever put themselves together nicely, gone out, entered a room and noticed other women look them up and down, from toe to head to toe again, and give them an evil look, as if to say, "That bitch!" I have never got 'no' for an answer. Ever. Especially if the woman is pretty and confident. It is truly an amazing phenomenon. Like hate at first sight.

I know a woman who attempted to join a certain organisation. During the training/selection period, she did well, and all the men supervising her had no problems with her. The lone woman on the selection panel, however, had major issues with her, and let her know that she did not like her. When the time came for selection, the woman vociferously opposed the admission of the female applicant, and she was rejected.

Another woman I know presented herself for a job interview and was in for a rude awakening. This woman is attractive and puts herself together very well. Her interview was unfortunately short-lived, as the interviewer, an older woman who would be supervising her, told her that she would not be hiring her because she, the applicant, looked better than her.

The woman-to-woman dynamic can be mind-numbingly toxic, leading to issues at the workplace. We saw it on live television with Miss Kitty and Yanique 'Curvy Diva' Barrett, and chances are that it is happening right now at an office near you.

At one point in my career, I worked in a building with females only at the front desk and filing rooms. The energy became so negative that the administrator decided to hire two men, to buffer the feminine tension. Did it work? It most definitely did. Like a charm.

One thing that truly disturbs me is the lack of empathy some women display toward other women who suffer at the hands of men. It is unbelievable. During the O.J. Simpson murder trial, I overheard two women discussing the case in a hospital cafeteria. They both believed that Simpson killed his ex-wife, but defended him, saying that she "deserved it". Similarly, Jah Cure's rise to fame occurred while he was behind bars for raping a woman, but many women were clamouring for him to be released.

As for side chicks who taunt and terrorise wives, that cruel practice is not uncommon, but the reverse occurs as well. I know of a case where a woman discovered that her husband had an outside child, about four years after the child was born. The other woman had respectfully kept out of her space, but the wife went on the attack. On the child's next birthday, the wife sent a gift-wrapped box, containing faeces, to the little girl, accompanied by a note telling her not to be a whore like her mother.

Fortunately, not all females fit this profile. There are women mature and secure enough to compliment other women and refrain from making snide and catty remarks about them. But as long as the 'hater DNA' persists among women, men will continue to rule the world.

Michael Abrahams is an obstetrician and gynaecologist, comedian and poet. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and michabe_1999@hotmail.com, or tweet @mikeyabrahams.