Fri | May 25, 2018

Carolyn Cooper | Doodoo fly up inna Donald Trump face

Published:Sunday | January 21, 2018 | 12:00 AM

 

CHAKA-CHAKA SPELLING

 

Mi no know wa mek so much people a nyam up demself through Donald Trump seh di whole a Africa an Haiti an El Salvador a sh**hole. Dem a gwaan like seh dem never know seh a dat Donald Trump tink bout certain people. All happen, di word dem just fly outa Trump mouth like doodoo outa runnin belly. Im no have no control a im mouth. Anything come a im head, im dis talk it out. Im come een like pikni.

When di doodoo fly up eena Donald Trump face, im start gwaan like seh im shame fi mek di whole world know how im style certain people. Mi did tink seh fi im shame tree did dead, dead, dead long time. It look like one lickle, lickle piece still di deh. Trump done know seh if certain country a sh**hole, di people dem weh live deh a sh**. It sound bad fi true. Trump so shame im start tell lie seh im never seh sh**hole. Im did seh sh**house.

Trump shoudn't bodder wid dat deh lie. Im dis a fool up imself. It no matter if di people dem live eena hole or eena house. Same sh**; no better address. An dem still a nutten more dan sh**. By di way, it sweet mi fi see how one artist, Robin Bell, tek one projecter an clap on 'Sh**hole' pon di wall a Trump International Hotel eena Washington, DC. Dat a one expensive sh**house!

 

CARICOM TALK OUT

 

Mi glad fi see seh CARCOM talk out an condemn Donald Trump fi im out-of-order sh** talk. Worse like how Haiti a di head a CARICOM fi disya year. Mi did well shame when some a di CARICOM country dem never vote eena di UNgainst Donald Trump next load a doodoo - fi move di American embassy eena Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. Trump no understand nutten bout international politics. Im no aks imself wa mek all a dem odder president just hold dem corner a Tel Aviv an no pick no side eena di fight between di Jew, di Muslim an di Christian dem fi control Jerusalem.

Mi so proud a Barbados, Belize, Dominica, Grenada, Guyana, Suriname an St Vincent & di Grenadines. All a dem vote gainst Trump. As fi di rest a CARICOM! St Kitts & Nevis an St Lucia never even show up fi vote. Antigua & Barbuda, Trinidad & Tobago, Bahamas, Haiti an Jamaica never bodder vote at all, at all. No yes, no no! Nutten! Jamaica? Fi wi country? An wi have so much chat? Wi fraid a Donald Trump? Through im did threaten fi stop lend money to who vote gainst im? Di politician dem sell wi out. Dem too licky-licky. A it mek Donald Trump a doodoo pon wi head.

 

PRAPA-PRAPA SPELIN

 

Mi no nuo wa mek so moch piipl a nyam op demself chruu Donald Trump se di uol a Africa an Haiti an El Salvador a sh**uol. Dem a gwaahn laik se dem neva nuo se a dat Donald Trump tingk bout sortn piipl. Aal apn, di wod dem jos flai outa Trump mout laik duudu outa ronin beli. Im no av nuo kanchroul a im mout. Enting kom a im ed, im dis taak it out. Im kom iin laik pikni.

Wen di duudu flai op iina Donald Trump fies, im staat gwaahn laik se im shiem fi mek di uol worl nuo ou im stail sortn piipl. Mi did tingk se fi im shiem chrii did ded, ded, ded lang taim. It luk laik wan likl, likl piis stil di de. Trump don nuo se if sortn konchri a sh**uol, di piipl dem we liv de a sh**. It soun bad fi chruu. Trump so shiem, im staat tel lai se im neva se sh**uol. Im did se sh**tous.

Trump shudn bada wid dat de lai. Im dis a fuul op imself. It no mata if di piipl dem liv iina uol ar iina ous. Siem sh**; no beta ajres. An dem stil a notn muor dan sh**. Bai di wie, it swiit mi fi si ou wan aatis, Robin Bell, tek wan projekta an klap aan 'Sh**hole' pan di waal a Trump International Hotel iina Washington, DC. Dat a wan ekspensiv sh**tous!

 

CARICOM TAAK OUT

 

Mi glad fi si se CARCOM taak out an kandem Donald Trump fi im out-a-aada sh** taak. Wors laik ou Haiti a di ed a CARICOM fi disya ier. Mi did wel shiem wen som a di CARICOM konchri dem neva vuot iina di UN gens Donald Trump neks luod a duudu - fi muov di Amerikan embasi iina Israel fram Tel Aviv tu Jerusalem. Trump no andastan notn bout intanashanal palitiks. Im no aks imself wa mek aal a dem ada prezident jos uol dem kaana a Tel Aviv an no pik no said iina di fait bitwiin di Juu, di Moslim an di Krischan dem fi kanchruol Jerusalem.

Mi so proud a Barbados, Belize, Dominica, Grenada, Guyana, Suriname an St Vincent & di Grenadines. Aal a dem vuot gens Trump. Az fi di res a CARICOM! St Kitts & Nevis an St Lucia neva iivn shuo op fi vuot. Antigua & Barbuda, Trinidad & Tobago, Bahamas, Haiti an Jamaica neva bada vuot at aal, at aal. No yes, no no! Notn! Jamaica? Fi wi konchri? An wi av so moch chat? Wi fried a Donald Trump? Chruu im did chretn fi stap len moni tu uu vuot gens im? Di palitishan dem sel wi out. Dem tuu liki-liki. A it mek Donald Trump a duudu pan wi ed.

- Carolyn Cooper is a consultant on culture and development. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and karokupa@gmail.com.