Lady Gaga finds it 'very lonely' being a performer
The Pokerface hitmaker admits that it has been tough for her in the spotlight and it has left her feeling insecure and alone. "It's very lonely being a performer. There's a certain loneliness that I feel - that I'm the only one who does what I do. So it feels like no one understands, and the urge to use is because you're searching for a way to quell the pain," she said.
She added, "When I first started to perform around the country doing nightclubs, there was stuff everywhere, but I had already partied when I was younger, so I didn't dabble. I was able to avoid it because I did it when I was a kid."
The 32-year-old singer admits that she doesn't "always practise what she preaches". Speaking in a profile for the Los Angeles Times, she added: "I like to preach, but I don't always practise what I preach ... . I'm so insecure.
To be honest, I think what makes me feel beautiful is when I see happiness in my fans. When I see or hear from them that the music that I've made has changed their lives in some way - that's what makes me feel beautiful. Because this is just the outside, you know? And at the end of the day, I could be in a million movies and put out a million songs and everyone could say, 'She was so beautiful,' but that's not really what I want. I want them to say, 'I saw that movie and I cried my eyes out and I learnt something about myself.'"