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Dating DON'Ts: According to him

Published:Monday | July 28, 2014 | 7:00 AM

 

Krysta Anderson,  Lifestyle Writer

Getting into the dating world gives you the opportunity to start afresh, meet new people in a different light and make lasting connections. But it can be hard out there! There are several pitfalls that can prevent a man and woman from finding their true love and sustaining a long-term relationship.

For the men's edition of Flair Magazine, we decided to ask a few men what it is that they absolutely detest when going through the dating phase. Some of these might be shocking to you, but women, take notes: here is a list of dating don'ts.

1. Revealing how many sexual partners you have had

This tops the list for several men. Ladies, you do not need to tell them your number - it is not lying; not mentioning it, or tweaking the official count, simply means 'not everything needs to be said'.

On the flip side, a few men argued that it is better to get everything out in the open, and empty out that closet of intimacy during dates so that they can know where to go from there.

2. Talking about your ex

Speaking about your ex and how much they have damaged your heart hinders the intended love connection you are trying to achieve on the date.

3. Conversations about finances

Unless he brings it up, try not to speak about finances. He may be under the impression that you are dating him for the wrong reason. Also, try not to ask about his net worth - that will definitely verify his suspicions.

4. Table manners and etiquette

It is all well and good that you are 'Miss Independent', but allow the man to be the gentleman that he is or ought to be. Newsflash: if he does not indeed act like a gentleman on the date, you can gauge the date from there, and if he rubs you the wrong way, then say no to date number two, but give him the benefit of the doubt.

5. Insecurities

If he has to be reassuring you constantly, because you complain about your physical or emotional insecurities, then it is probably a turn-off for him. Let him compliment you on his own.

6. Baggage claim: children and 'baby fadda' drama

Do not hide the fact that you have children or drama with the father of your children. But please refrain from overwhelming the conversation with issues relating to these two topics during the dates.

7. Dating dress code

Modesty is key, but so is sex appeal. Women, try to strike a balance between the two, so that you can mentally stimulate a man's intellect as well as his libido.

8. The concept of being conceited

Many are not aware that being too confident can harm you in the dating world. Do not brag about what you own and where you have been. Keep the conversations light and concise when it comes to successes. Also, do not spend the whole night talking about yourself; it takes two to tango, so follow that dance and it will lead to more dates.

9. Pressures of meeting the family

Many of the fairer sex go into the dating game with the objective of being in it to win it. While it is admirable to have a game plan, try not to pressure a man into letting you meet his family too soon. He will do this in his own time if he thinks the relationship is going somewhere. If you have been dating for months or even years, he is close with his family and you have not been introduced, then you know where you stand.

10. Moving in and marriage

Do not be too pushy with conversations of moving in together or marriage when you are just getting to know your potential partner. It is better for a date to take its natural course and you cross that conversation line once you have reached that level in the relationship.

What are your dating rules? Let us know at lifestyle@gleanerjm.com, or email krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com