Wed | Sep 26, 2018

Got to be me, got to be you

Published:Monday | October 27, 2014 | 12:00 AM

I'll start with two quotes: "You're not the man/woman I married!" And "I vote for outer space. No way these are local boys."

The former is a typical soap opera statement (yes, I used to watch soap operas). The second is from the movie Tremors (Google it). Now you're probably wondering how the hell these things are connected. Read on. Usually, the soap-opera scenario comes about during what is the latest in a long line of incidents that quite frankly would have tested even Job's patience. The thing is the spouse in question is usually behaving exactly how they always did when they were a spouse-to-be. It's just that back when wedding bells were (literally and figuratively) in the air, the now-despondent other wasn't paying attention.

Now the Tremors quote. It is a salute to all the Sufi Channel aficionados like myself who love the movie (its two sequels and one prequel). While I was watching a Tremors movie marathon recently, I realised I had no earthly place I'd rather have been on that Saturday afternoon than watching those films like a real movie geek. And that's what I mean about behaving exactly as you are as a would-be spouse. You've got to be true to yourself, and by extension, the other person. If, having seen all or at least most of each other in action, and you both still decide it's worth it, then God bless oonu ting! But the key is to be true.

So if a little miss looks like Halle Berry, Scarlet Johanson and Eva Mends all rolled into one, but can't understand if I say I prefer to chill that particular Saturday like that, it nah go work! Just like if she loves to spend most waking hours on social media and likes that I can 'work wid it', she must be able to work with my moments of 'geekiness'. None of us are perfect, despite what some people think. So it's best to be you, so the potential life partner can see "all your perfect imperfections" like John Legend's tired song says. Granted, if you think part of being you is to belch loudly like Shrek, okay that might be something you need to look at.

So don't skimp on your meat intake while you're dating because your potential spouse prefers 'greens'. When the wedding is done, you have to eat in that house for the rest of your life. And so-so bush nah go keep yuh in deh! Compromising is always a given (so sometimes wifey or hussy must can eat a steak, nuh true?), and if you're going to change your lifestyle completely, let it be because that's what you want, and not what your spouse-to-be dictates.

So there you have it. Go out and find your meat-eating, fiction movie-watching, soul song-singing, Facebook/Twitter - shunning knight or lady in shining armour. And invite me to the wedding; I brought y'all together.