Tue | Jun 2, 2020

Date weekend and the Jason debate

Published:Monday | November 3, 2014 | 12:00 AM
After four years as a single mother devoting her life to her four children, Yanique Quest has decided to re-enter the dating world. Join us each week as we chronicle her dating journey in 'Yanique's Quest'.
Brian Lumley and me.

A good friend of mine pointed out a few things to me last week and it got me thinking if what he said had any merit. After reading my article, he pointed out that first, the attraction stage is usually a façade with things being done and experienced by both parties as mere tactics in an effort to be more attractive.

Second, why it is that anytime a man does something that is "out of the norm" it is an immediate flag? How do we decide what is the norm? Not because he has been consistent with one thing over a period of time makes it the norm.

And finally, Jason and I had not made any commitment to each other, but I had made a commitment to him when I stopped dating other people. Since he hadn't made one to me, then the expectations that I have may not be deliverable because the playing field isn't level.

He had me thinking about this all week. How many times have I seen relationships crumble because one party had made certain assumptions about the relationship without consulting the other? Do people say, "Let's go steady"? How do you know what stage the relationship is at and if you are on the same page? I consider myself a newbie to the dating world and I don't remember when or if my ex and I had said anything about being monogamous. All I knew was that he was right. I was holding Jason to certain things that weren't fair to him.

It was either we were going to discuss the stage we were at, or I kept dating other people. I didn't know Jason well enough yet to decide if this was it, so I decided to open up my dating card again. It was too soon to decide on any one person.

Date Weekend

Jason showed up at my house the morning after I requested orange juice with a large bottle of Orijin. I wasn't over the night, and he knew as much, so he said we needed to talk.

He told me then that he has been under a lot of pressure lately, and he didn't like the way I made him feel that night. He explained that it wasn't that he didn't want to bring me the orange juice, but he was tired, and his mind had been all over the place and all he wanted to do was get some rest. I told him that next time, all he had to do was say that. He stayed with me until I fell asleep that morning, and then he left. We had decided to go to Kingston for the weekend if I was feeling better, so I was more determined to not let this chik-V tie me down. I went straight into Mission Recovery.

Early Saturday morning, we headed out for Kingston and I was quite excited. He was taking me to 689 by Brian Lumley and the LIME MVP Full Black concert. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love music and 689, so I knew this would be a great date weekend.

The show was supposedly to start at 8 p.m, but we all know nothing in Jamaica starts on time, so we went to have dinner first. There is something about this restaurant that always sets the tone for an amazing evening, and it doesn't hurt that the food is mouth-wateringly amazing. We got to the restaurant and we were greeted by the culinary genius himself. That alone told me this was going to be a fantastic evening. We chose a table in the back and placed our order and Jason was quite attentive. We talked throughout the whole dinner and it always amazes me that after being in each other's company for hours, we still had something to talk about. It's hard to find a man that you have things in common with, and it's even harder to find a good conversationalist. It amazes me sometimes the things that men choose to talk about on our dates. Jason was a breath of fresh air.

After dinner, we went back to the hotel to change for the concert and headed out. We had been on the road from 10 a.m. and we were still full of energy. This was the worst concert that I have ever been to. After torturing myself waiting on artistes for four hours and having Lady Saw telling us that she was ill "so whatever you get, you haffi tek", we decided to call it a night.

It wasn't a free concert, and if that was the attitude at 2 a.m., I wasn't bothering with that. We got back to the hotel minutes to four and instead of heading to our room, we decided to sit by the pool and have some tea. That's where the Kingston sunrise found us on Sunday morning, and there was nowhere else I wanted to be at that time. It had been an incredible night and I was excited to see what he had planned for Sunday.

Share your thoughts with us at lifestyle@gleanerjm.com