Wed | Jan 16, 2019

41-day love journey - Love journey 3

Published:Monday | December 8, 2014 | 12:00 AM

Cathy Risden, Lifestyle Writer

As we continue with this week's chapter of the love journey, I hope you have been maintaining all you have learned as you look forward to the fruits of your labour.

We have this unfortunate tendency to downplay our own negative attributes while putting our partner's failure under a magnifying glass. Take some time this week to do some self evaluation and work on you.

Three ladies are well on their way and will redefine their relationships after completing their 41 days love journey. Here is what they have to say after week two:

Vicky Choo: So after an 'OK' week one, I must admit I forgot to follow through with week two. I have been under pressure at work, and as such, barely had time to read. But I have been trying and so far succeeding in keeping the 'virtues' of week one, and again I am looking forward to upcoming weeks.

Sandra Brown: Wow! What a journey! Week two was far more testing than week one, but most fulfilling. All hell broke loose on day eight (love is not irritable) and I had to regroup. I caught myself in the act of being irritated, and quickly reprimanded myself in front of my boyfriend, and the argument ended. Day nine was an absolute breeze, because we both motivated and encouraged each other to go after our goals, celebrating each success no matter how big or small. Little did I know what this day would bring. I would be the one treated instead of the one executing the treat, which was done with a smile. Was he reading my mind? My treat ended up being interpreted as sheer appreciation, which I am sure he didn't mind - treat for treat.

Jade Small: Well, with week two I realised more that some of these things do not apply to me. While this is the case, I still try my best to do what I can. Being that I am still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship, there are little things that irritate us if anything and we have never been in a heated argument. However, there are a few days that were less challenging than 'love is not irritable'. 'Love is not jealous' and 'love is thoughtful' were easily reciprocated by him after I did the same. Those were two good days for me and I am actually starting to look forward to the following days.

Continue to commit to a day at a time for the remaining 20 days. Nope you cannot throw in the towels now - too late to quit. You can do it.

THIS WEEK'S DARE - December 8-14

Day 15: Love believes the Best

For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

Day 16: Love is unconditional

Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse - something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favourite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner.

Day 17: Love cherishes

What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

Day 18: Love takes delight

Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they would really like to work on. Just be together.

Day 19: Love is honourable

Choose a way to show honour and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes

Day 20: Love seeks to understand

Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you like. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you have rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

Day 21: Love is impossible

Look back over the dares from previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible to you? Have you realised your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love? Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.

To be continued in the Flair on December 15.

- Names changed to protect identity

- Inspired by the film Fireproof and the novel Love Dare. Share your progress each week. Send email to Contact The Gleaner for last week's copy of Flair Magazine.