Tue | Dec 6, 2016

Wining back your ex - Part 1

Published:Monday | December 15, 2014 | 12:00 AM
The ex

After a break-up you are hurt, emotionally drained and most of all confused - which often causes you to make irrational decisions.

Dimario Hibbert did not realise the damage he was causing when he tried to win back his girlfriend's heart and is now bearing the consequences of not succeeding.

Hibbert told Flair that his girlfriend of four years told him that she was tired of the relationship and that she wanted to explore. "She told me that I was the problem and I needed to change my ways. I really didn't see what I was doing wrong, so I thought it wasn't me. I just never bothered to continue trying after a few months, because I wasn't getting anywhere." He never stopped calling or texting his girlfriend to tell her how much he loved and wanted her back. "I would call and text her all the time to let her know how much I love and missed her, but she did not respond to me as I thought she would. We kept arguing all the time and I could not understand why."

Based on online sources, if you need your ex back after a break up you would definitely need a sense of direction. To avoid

making deadly mistakes there are some do's and don'ts of getting your ex back.

1. Don't listen to your instincts (you are confused). Part of winning your ex back is resisting the urge to call or text them at all cost. You have to let them know that you can cope without them.

2. Do the 'no contact' rule. This is to give both parties space and time. You should stop all communication with your ex for at least 30 days, but if the break-up is extreme take between two to six months. At least until you are able to think straight. This will give him or her time to miss you and they will appreciate the fact that you respect their boundaries.

Hibbert continues with his story, "She moved out to live closer to school and I was missing her very much. So I texted her numerous times asking for her to come home. And sometimes when my head hurts I would call and tell her, hoping that she would come home, but she never did."

3. Don't beg and try to use pity. No one will ever break-up if begging worked. Begging is pathetic and is very unattractive. Though you want the person back, you must first think about whether you want them to love you or pity you. Avoid looking desperate.

To be continued ...

• Feel free to share your experience in getting your ex back with 'Flair', send email to cathy.risden@gleanerjm.com