Jason had definitely gone above and beyond for the weekend, but what exactly did all of this mean? We always enjoyed our time together and we could find things to talk about for hours.
This weekend in Portland had been one of the best moments of my life and I knew regardless of what happened later on, that memory would always remain. He had taken the time to make me feel special and I knew the weekend had cost him a pretty penny. For a girl that grew up reading Mills and Boon, I have only read of things like these happening in the books or movies.
But now that we have returned home, I am more confused than anything. I was really crushing on Jason but I wasn't clear yet as to what our relationship status was and I wasn't sure I wanted to clarify that just yet either. We were both seeing other people and while none of the other men I have dated held a candle to him, I didn't know if the women he was dating meant anything special to him.
The man debate
When I showed my friends the pictures of our time in Portland, the general consensus among them all was that no Jamaican man would ever even think of doing that much less actually doing it. All I kept hearing was: "If he was Jamaican, we would be having a whole different conversation right now". It was no secret that Jason and I weren't having a sexual relationship. If I said he ever asked me for sex,
I would be lying. We were
definitely very attracted to each other but he knew what I was about where that was concerned and I knew his mindset. I knew I was lucky to have met Jason because I have kissed men that either turned into frogs or ogres. After one or two dates then they start to get 'touchy-feely' and you knew where they were headed without them even saying the word. That was sadly the norm these days and I really didn't see that changing anytime soon unless women started demanding more from men and not settling but that's a story for another article.
Jason has always spoken highly of the strong family unit and while he didn't have a problem if his wife had her own career goals to achieve, he knew he wanted a woman that was family oriented. Probably that was his attraction to me, because he enjoyed spending time with my kids and would make plans to take them somewhere he knew they would enjoy. His mindset was definitely different from a lot of the men that I have met since I started this journey, along with the men I've heard about from my peers.
With my exams now over and school being out in a few days, I had some time to figure out exactly what Jason and I were doing. I had a strong inclination that I wouldn't find anyone else that would do all the things he had done with me. I wasn't sure it made any sense to be accepting dates from anyone else if they couldn't live up to Jason's name and actions. I've already had a disastrous one where all I could do was wish that my date was Jason. I didn't want to rush anything but I didn't want to waste my time either.
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