Tue | Sep 18, 2018

Yanique Quest: Blast from my past-Andrew

Published:Monday | January 5, 2015 | 12:00 AM

There is something to be said about having confidence in yourself and who you are and there is definitely an extra boost of confidence that a woman gets from the appreciation of a man.

Let me be clear - a woman doesn't need a man to feel confident, but a woman who walks in love and appreciation has a certain glow that puts a pep in her step. At least, the women I know.

Well I wasn't sure what I was feeling, but I was feeling extra confident and had been making some decisions about my life that I had been scared to do before.


Blast from my past


Andrew called me the day after my birthday. I hadn't spoken to him since I found out he was married, and I severed all communication. I had even gone as far as to delete his number and had no idea when he called that I was speaking to him. He said he would be passing my area over the weekend and would love the opportunity to catch up. Since we were no longer dating, I agreed to meet him Saturday afternoon, so we could talk. I had truly liked Andrew, but I couldn't accept the fact that he was married. That was a little too much for me.

When I got to our meeting place he was already there, and it felt really good to see him after all this time. We started chatting away and he asked me about my family and I enquired about his and his work. He said it was good to see me and he knew I was doing well because he had been reading my articles each week. I was a little surprised that he had continued to read them because of the way we ended. We talked about my dating adventures since then and he asked me about Jason. I was honest and told him that Jason and I are just two adults who enjoy each other's company, and that was it. We were not in a committed relationship and I was still on my journey.

He said he wanted to see me because he had learned so much about himself since I stopped talking to him. As it turns out, he had filed for divorce, and wasn't scared of the consequences. His wife was very happy about that and wouldn't be contesting it because she wanted to move on, but would have lost everything if she had been the one to file for divorce. She had been living with a man for the last year and wanted out of the union herself. I was happy for him because I knew that he wasn't committed to his marriage and had wanted out.

He said he knew this didn't change anything for us because he was still married, but he wanted to know if when he became available I would be open to, maybe, hanging out again. That was definitely not what I was expecting to hear when I left my house, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I told him I would have to think about it because a lot had changed in the last few months. I had liked Andrew from the onset, but the whole marriage thing had really left a sour taste in my mouth. Then there was Jason - I knew I was growing feelings for him, and I didn't see anyone making me feel the way he did. He made me feel like a schoolgirl who was going through her first crush. I found myself smiling when his name came up on my phone, and even just thinking about him got me feeling all fuzzy inside.

I wasn't sure what I would be doing where Andrew was concerned, and oddly enough, I wasn't sure I wanted to close that chapter. Although we hadn't discussed it, I knew Jason was actively seeing other people, and I wasn't going to pretend that we were an 'item', because we weren't.