Thu | Dec 5, 2019

Stalking vs Pursuit

Published:Monday | January 19, 2015 | 12:00 AMJody-Anne Lawrence

Men do not like to see themselves as predators but as pursuers. Sometimes, however, their approach borders on stalking. According to the Oxford Concise Dictionary, stalking is defined as "harass or persecute with unwanted and obsessive attention." The misconception is that if you are not physical or threatening, it is not stalking, but by definition once the attention is unwanted it can be considered as such.

So Flair is highlighting some of the things men should avoid.

Calling too often

Yes! Women like attention but no woman likes to be called every five minutes. You are not her partner and this approach will only raise red flags.

"Running into...."

Do not pop up at her work or in her department - if you work at the same place. These suspicious run-ins are just plain 'creepy' and frightening.


Do not try to buy her affection. There are a few women that will take it even though they are not interested, and for that you cannot blame them because they told you 'no'. However, there are some that will feel like you are forcing yourself on them, which you are. Keep your money in your pocket and leave her alone.


Yes, you are free to look anywhere you like and if you find someone attractive, of course you more than likely will take a second glance and that is normal. What is not normal is the staring. This only makes her feel harassed instead of attractive.


It is never OK to search for her on Facebook or Instagram and like every picture that she has posted. She has already told you that she is not interested and then to have her profile bombarded with likes will have her running for the hills - not only blocking you in the process but, in addition, making her account private, uncertain of what you might try to do with her photos.

No means 'NO'

This is not primary school, where when a girl treats you with disdain it means some sort of affection. This is adulthood. Those childish actions have been eliminated. When she says she is not interested and has asked you to leave her alone, do so. You are creating an insecure, unsafe, fearful, uncomfortable environment for her. Those emotions should not be what you want to evoke for someone you care about. The best thing to do is leave her alone.