Wed | Dec 7, 2016

A long time wi frighten!

Published:Monday | April 13, 2015 | 12:00 AM
Jamaican Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller greets United States President Barack Obama at Jamaica House, St Andrew, last Thursday.

Well, now that the United States Prezzie has come and gone, Jamaica can get back to normal. Not that we want them to dig up back the roads, mind you. Those can stay. By the way, they do remember they have to repaint the pedestrian crossings and lane markers, right? But if nothing else, roads we were beginning to think were 'un-fixable' are now in top shape. As for the vendors selling crab and roast corn from before Barack did even born, well maybe they'll be back there sometime soon. By the way, how dem neva know say Barack wouldn't want two crab fi nyam?

Yours truly, like so many, was quite upset about all the hubbub being created over this visit. Suppose Barack did a stay fi a month? Di place woulda look like Dubai, but security-wise, it woulda haffi shut dung! But then I realised that it's not the Government alone that does this. The average Jamaican always pretty things up when visitor a come. Think about it. If you're old enough to remember, don't you recall that if certain people were coming to visit the house, all of a sudden the furniture was dusted and the floor cleaned? And the neighbours always knew something was up. Any time Miss B or Maas Trevor sent their children to the shop to buy certain items, you knew they were expecting company. Whether it was pastor, the councillor fi di area or even better, relatives from abroad! You know the house is in the best shape it's been in for years.

 

special cutlery

 

You probably wouldn't recognise the cutlery and plates being used, because they've been locked in special drawers for years. "So why can't we get this type of treatment all the time?" the children might ask. The reply would have been somewhere in the region of "Hush up" or "Pickney nuh badda mi peace!" Of course, depending on the demeanour of your parents, you might know better than to even ask the question from the beginning. Two good 'slap' would await you, or worse.

Thing is, while governments think like regular people do (they just have more money to fix up the place on a grander scale) - the difference is they can't actually take back the 'pretty-up'. So, the road will remain pretty until we ultimately mash it up. And when it does, dog nyam wi supper. The bushing and the painting? Probably won't see any more of that before local government election.

But, you know, if Barack came to my house, nuh yard nah bush, nuh floor nah clean, and mi not putting on nuh Sunday best! Merino, shorts and slippers - nutten else! And if him tink him bad, try change di station while mi a watch likkle ball game, or worse, go inna mi fridge a look fi Red Stripe. Not going to happen. Him nuh like how tings stay? Him can go back home. Straight!

• Link me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com