Thu | May 25, 2017

What's next for University Sweethearts?

Published:Monday | May 18, 2015 | 5:00 AM

FOR MANY lovebirds who are still happily involved today, their relationships began in university. It is a very popular place where best friends, as well as potential life partners, are found. But after undergrad life together, what happens after? Does graduation mean saying goodbye to your college romance, too?

Deciding what to do about your relationship after graduation can be tough, particularly when you already have to deal with the stress of adjusting to post-grad life.

Every relationship is different, and after considering the factors below, decide if your relationship is worth holding on to.

Not every college relationship is meant to last, but if you truly feel that you belong with your current partner, you will be able to make it work. The first question would be 'how much was invested in the relationship?' If you don't see this person as a lifetime partner for you, this might be a natural time to break away and explore other options.

Flair came up with some things to take into consideration after graduation to keep your college sweetheart - he/she could be your life partner.

 

Discuss it

 

Ultimately, both of you will have to talk about your future. It is better to talk about it sooner rather than later. You definitely don't want to wait until the night before graduation, because if you are worrying about your postgrad plans but have not talked about it with your significant other, that could put stress on the relationship. The sooner you figure out what both of you are going to do, the sooner you can feel better about the situation.

When bringing up the subject of your relationship, be simple, specific and direct. Put it out there like there are options. Bring it up as a discussion without judgement or fear and keep the conversation positive and open.

You can start by asking for your partner's opinion first - 'graduation's coming up in a month or two - what do we want to do? Do we want to keep this relationship going, and what would that look like?'

If you believe you are meant to be together, a job across the ocean or the major step you are about to take in your life is not going to change the feelings towards your significant other. The discussion may take hours, but don't let it result in a conflict.

 

What are your future goals?

 

Think about your dreams. Are they similar in nature? Is it that you want to be a doctor and he or she wants to be a teacher? Do you have similar dreams?

If both of your goals are taking you in different directions, it may take some serious sacrifice. Changing or adjusting your future for your partner can be difficult and could hurt your personal goals, and it could also hurt the relationship itself.

Try to pursue the same goal at that same place. Both of you can make some agreement to study at the same place, if not, visit as much as possible, communicate everyday. Plus the good old saying 'absence makes the heart goes fonder' can strengthen the relationship.

If, down the road, you do continue with the relationship and you feel that you gave up on your dreams and your goals because of staying in the relationship, you may become resentful, so be careful.

 

Distance

 

Long-distance relationships can be hard to maintain, but if you put in the work to finish what you started, there is no doubt that it won't work. If you both decide to go back to separate hometowns increase the communication - email, text messages, calls, etc.

Love conquers all and if you are meant to be, no mountain, job, parish or country can stand in the way of being with the love of your life.

cathy.risden@gleanerjm.com