Fri | Sep 22, 2017

After I Do

Published:Monday | June 1, 2015 | 6:00 AMKrysta Anderson

We all know how this works by now: boy meets girl and they fall in love. As time progresses, their hearts grow even fonder, so they take the next best step, and that is trade in their boy and girl status for sailing off into the sunrise or sunset as husband and wife.

But what happens after the 'I dos'? In the blink on an eye, the honeymoon phase fades and reality sets in. So, we asked dynamic duos to recap the breathtaking, beautiful and downright ugly moments of their marriage thus far.

André Mayne, who has been married for more than four years now, confessed that while their love has grown since saying 'I do', they have grown to become complacent.

"Complacency has set in since the wedding day, due to our very busy schedule with work and the birth of our son. We are now in the process of trying to get rid of it and stop taking each other for granted."

Andrea Wilson-Green, married for 17 years, recalled what she called a low point just after saying 'I do' to her husband, during their first anniversary.

"My 'hubby' was hit off his motorcycle two months before our first wedding anniversary. He lost out on an awesome job opportunity and was laid up for about eight months after the accident. It was challenging since, at this point, he had got a full baptism into the system at Kingston Public Hospital."

She revealed that they found strength in Christ as well as support from family and friends. "He suffered a broken ankle and due to negligence on KPH's part developed a sore and wasn't able to do surgery at the scheduled time. So rather than have him spend our anniversary in hospital, I demanded they let him out which they did," she recounted with a smile.

"A lot has changed since we said 'I do'," says Matthew Blake, who has been married for three years now. "We have learnt to cook. We have learnt a lot more about each other than when we were courting and now, we get to make love, since we waited for marriage to do so."

He continued by relaying an instance of change since the faithful 'I dos' were exchanged. "She knows that I am pursuing a career in music and I write songs, but now that we actually live together, she has to deal with the music blasts and me probably just waking up in the middle of the night to write a song. I have learnt first-hand that she doesn't eat certain things like ackee and banana and other things I would eat. I have learned how clingy she can be now that she is living with me, which is totally different from a hug now and then when dating. Now, she is a cuddler 24/7 and I love it!"

 

Hard first year

 

The first year has been the hardest, says newlywed Sasha Miller, "We are just getting to really know each other. And it's not like a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship - we can't just break up, we literally have to work things out, by being submissive and compromising, which was not either one of our strong suits. Plus, I have learned to just accept some things and I don't argue about it.

"Apart from making me fatter," according to Brian Cuff, also a newlywed, "I have become a more balanced person and a more optimistic person. Balance - I was always giving and going extra miles, I never allowed persons to really give to me or take on my burdens. I was always helping others. Now that I am married, I know what it is like to be helped."

As it relates to optimistic, he noted what has occurred since 'I do', "I have had many dark days and dark moments. Now, my personal piece of sunshine has made me change my whole demeanour with some things. Marriage has made me more hopeful. She is full of hope and always smiling and it has helped to return my smile and hope due to her encouragement and grace, especially during my time of need."

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com