Tue | May 30, 2017

Yanique's Quest: The Quest continues

Published:Monday | June 8, 2015 | 6:00 AM

The wait is over. After a brief hiatus, our very popular Yanique's Quest is back! Join us as the quest continues.

When I started this dating journey, I don't think I quite understood all the variables that would come with it. I actually thought it would be easy because, after all, I was the only single one among my friends.

My female friends were either in committed relationships, engaged or married. So really and truly, how hard could it be? Well, it was definitely not as easy as I thought it would be.

Jason has become an integral part of my life. We have many things in common, and he definitely knows how to make a woman feel appreciated. He is a great motivator, listener and always the first person to grab me when the pressures of my daily life seem intent on swallowing me.

For want of a better word, Jason is 'perfect' for me. If I reviewed my list of things I want in a man/husband, his picture would be right beside it. Yet despite how close we are, we have failed to make a commitment to each other. I am still seeing other people, and without asking, I assume he was doing the same. He is fantastic with my children, and have become someone that I am overly fond of and quite attracted to.

 

what were we?

 

Jason is always there, but at the same time he isn't because I couldn't define what exactly we are, and I am too much of a chicken to ask. I don't spend my days wondering, because I am too busy enjoying the moments we have together and our daily conversations are definitely something I look forward to. All that being said, he wasn't the only man that I was dating. He is, however, the only man that I wanted to date.

I had gone on a date with this guy I met at the garage, and I couldn't remember one thing about that date. He isn't boring or anything, and I actually found him quite charming, but on that date I kept checking my phone to see if Jason had sent me a message or called.

I eventually made some silly excuse and ended our date prematurely and went home. The highlight of that evening was when Jason called on his way home and we talked for 43 minutes and 17 seconds. Who remembers these things in such detail? I could remember what we spoke about, what we laughed about, and the last thing he said to me on that call. I remembered it all. Is that crazy? He is the most attentive, caring, thoughtful and compassionate man that I have ever met. He also had this innate ability to make me laugh at the stupidest thing.

 

renewed faith in men

 

I say all this to say that he has truly renewed my faith in the male species. When my ex and I split, I was merely a shadow of the woman I knew. There is nothing easy about leaving the person you thought was the love you read about in those Harlequin and Mills & Boon books. I doubted myself for what seemed like years, and the fact that it was so easy for him to move on with many, many women didn't make it easier.

I had so much contempt and hatred for the opposite sex that it felt like I was on ice and had become the ice princess. I stopped believing that men were capable of being honest and monogamous. I was taught at an early age that once you took exceptional care of your spouse, he wouldn't leave you. Sad to say, but that wasn't true. There are just some men who believe that one woman isn't enough, and to some it's just an image thing. Well, I am learning, through Jason, that there are some very decent men left out there and I shouldn't allow what one person did to me to destroy my faith in the rest. It is definitely a work in progress, but I am in a much better place than I was a year ago and I am a better person for it.

As for me and Jason, I'm not sure where we are going with our relationship right now, and I'm not worried about it. I just want to enjoy the attention that he gives me, and try my very best to live in the present. With all that said, I am going to get ready for my date with a guy I never thought would have had any interest in me. It's funny how once you start seeing yourself in the positive, other people start seeing you too.