Sat | May 27, 2017

Yanique's Quest: show appreciation

Published:Monday | July 6, 2015 | 7:00 AM

Sometimes women tend to forget that a relationship is a two-way street.

They are of the opinion that they should always be on the receiving end, and never be the giver. Recently I was reading this post on Facebook in which this man was referring to his wife as his WCW (Woman crush Wednesday). He outlined some of the reasons why he loved her and always had to show his appreciation to her. Chief among them is that even though they had a helper, his wife was still the one to cook, wash, iron and clean their private space in the house.

He said each morning he wakes at 4:30 a.m. and she would be awake and waiting with his coffee and protein shake, which he took with him to the gym.

What really got my attention wasn't the things his wife was doing or his appreciation of them, but the negative comments from women under the post. They called the man's wife a maid, idiot, slave, and basically berated the wife because these things that she was doing was beneath them. How could she, in 2015, be doing all this for a man, regardless of who he is? Why would she even want to do this, especially since her husband provided her with a helper?

Well, what would you say if I told you that these are things I am actually looking forward to doing for that special person? Why wouldn't I want to show my appreciation to the person who appreciates and cares for me 365 days a year? I am sure you could think of millions of different ways that I could show my appreciation, but I actually want to do these things. I enjoy preparing my children's favourite meals and watching their faces light up with appreciation and delight when they are eating, so why wouldn't I do the same for the man I love?

It's crazy how these simple tasks are frowned upon, but for the man of my choosing whenever that may be, I will be the one washing, cooking and ironing his clothes. Feel free to call me fool-fool, old school or even an idiot, that won't stop me from doing the things I enjoy for the person I should enjoy the most.

Showing Appreciation to Jason

Remember me saying that live music concerts were one of my favourite places to go? Well, when I heard of Keith Sweat's upcoming concert, I knew I had to go. Jason also loves music, and I knew Joe is one of his favourite artistes - so I knew this was a concert he would appreciate. I didn't tell him where we were going, but once we got there, I could tell he was excited. We arrived just in time to catch the beginning of SWV's performance, and he started singing along with the rest of the crowd.

The entire night was filled with 90s music from 112 to Dru Hill, and for the whole night we sang and danced the night away. That night I ran into some of my friends, who were very excited to meet Jason, and they also ended up staying with us throughout the night. I absolutely love live music, and having him there enjoying something I love with me, made me very happy.

expectations

It was at the end of the evening that he mentioned that whenever he went out with other women, they always expected him to pay. They even expect him to pay when they are the ones who made all the arrangements and all he did was just show up. He wasn't the first male I have heard saying that. It seems to have become the norm for some women, who feel that once they are on a date, the man must pay. I have heard women say "mi nah pay fi nuttin" or "mi nah buy man nuttin", yet they expect these same men to shower them from head to toe.

I don't consider myself an expert on relationships or dating. What I consider myself an expert on is listening. I listen, and I observe, and what women need to realise is that men don't have to speak for their actions to be heard. They speak when they don't return your calls, and they speak when they ignore you. Sometimes you sit and ponder what exactly happened why this man isn't talking to you anymore and it could be something as simple as you feeling that you are entitled.

Learn to appreciate people and what they have to offer, and then someone will start appreciating you.