Sat | Aug 19, 2017

Love Corner: Love forgives

Published:Monday | July 27, 2015 | 7:00 AM

Have you ever felt like you want to forgive someone who has hurt you but don't think they deserve it? Or have you been the guilty party in an affair, and someone finds it hard to forgive you - even though you have repented and expressed a sincere desire to rebuild the relationship. This is where patience and forgiveness go hand in hand.

Welcome to week two of Flair's Love Corner as we continue to explore strategies that can possibly save heartache and mend broken relationships.

This week's Love Corner will feature another characteristic of love - forgiveness.

 

IT'S A PROCESS

 

Forgiveness is a process. It ebbs and flows; it starts, stops, and starts again; it gets better and gets worse. No matter what the issue is that caused the hurt, forgiveness is usually more than just a one-shot decision - understand that it may take time for your mate to forgive you. If they seem to struggle with or dwell on what you did, that doesn't necessarily amount to a refusal to forgive. Sights, sounds, and memories can trigger painful episodes. In this case, patience and forgiveness go hand in hand, if you are impatient or inconsiderate, it will only cause more hurt.

Forgiving someone who has done you wrong can be a very difficult task - perhaps the toughest of all love's characteristics, but if a relationship is to work, this is a characteristic that must absolutely be taken seriously and adhered to.

Forgiveness is mainly for your benefit, not for the benefit of the person you are forgiving. As long as you are feeling like a victim, you are carrying a heavy burden. Forgiveness allows you to put the burden down. And simply walk away from it. Free. When you forgive, it helps you grow. Once you have forgiven someone who has harmed you, suddenly, you find you have more time to think happy thoughts instead of negative and useless self-centred complaining.

 

HEALING

 

Forgiveness leads to healing. Holding on to resentment and not forgiving is sinful. God-fearing individuals are aware that Jesus said that if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive yours.

Choosing not to forgive gets you stuck in our own past, prevents you from moving forward. Many people waste years of their lives in bitterness and resentment when they could, through forgiveness, have lived that time in joy.

Forgiveness leads to purification of the spirit. Being forgiving is empowering. It unbinds you from the effects of that transgression and opens the door for the Lord to deal with the situation.

There is so much more that could be said and so many emotional issues you may need to fight through to get there. But great relationships are not created by people who never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep "no record of wrongs", found in 1 Corinthians 13:5.

Forgive someone today!

cathy.risden@gleanerjm.com