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Sexual Turn Offs

Published:Monday | August 24, 2015 | 8:00 AMKrysta Anderson

A man and a woman progressing from the mere mental to the pure unadulterated physical can be a beautiful thing. But in unearthing all that lust, passion and desire, many 'unthinkables' can take place, translating into sexual turn-offs.

We did our research and our readers told us the unthinkable that pop up in the heat of the moment.

 

1. CONDOM ALLERGY AND STUCKUPS

 

Nothing can ruin the moment more than when circumstances go from sexual to medical. A latex is not something a man or woman is always aware of. When it occurs, take your heads out of cloud nine and treat the serious matter by seeking medical attention immediately. Also, condoms reign supreme in being stuck in the deep conduit of satisfaction. Luckily, for many, this is usually a follow-up after the flame has been blown out. If you realise that in fishing out the protection, it has gone too far and is unreachable, it's time to call or see your doctor.

 

2. QUEEFING IT OUT

 

Vaginal flatulence occurs as a result of air being pushed in and out of a small wet space. It can be embarrassing for the female but it's totally normal, so if you like, you can take a break and regroup, or return to exotic programming.

 

3. FLUID FLOOD

 

Too little or too much fluid can either make or break the most intimate situations. What tips it over the edge is when the fluid takes on a whole new level releasing excess from the bladder to produce urine.

 

4. BLEEDING LOVE

 

We never want our nosey Aunt Flow to make a surprise visit, ahead or behind schedule. But it happens from time to time. When she arrives, we have to take down our 'Do Not Disturb' sign (of lovemaking) and tend to her every need. You win some, you lose some: let's hope her return came after your climatic departure.

 

5. MOOD KILL: CRAMPS AND INJURIES

 

Sticks and stones may break your bones, and certain sexual positions will harm you. Cramps can come at the weirdest times, and injuries can cause damage to the acrobat within us. Be sure to proceed with caution and engage in physical activity responsibly.

 

6. PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

 

Sometimes adrenaline can get the better of your skills, affecting your bedroom performance in the most negative way. A faulty pipe will deter the flow of water heading its way. And lack of water will leave a pipe empty, declaring it out of use. Be sure to relax, slow down and take it one step at a time.

 

7. THROWING IN THE TOWEL

 

You might have had one drink too many while out, and in going home to the after party you unwillingly take along with you drinks and or food you earlier consumed. Making it to the bathroom may prove to be a saving grace on your part, but chances are, it may happen right then and there. A pool of unwanted thrown up matter can definitely put an instant drought on any flowing river or transform a loaded rifle into a limp egg roll.

 

8. FORGET ME NOT: SAYING THE WRONG NAME

 

They say don't hate the player, hate the game but sometimes when a player gets too caught in his or her game and reveals the wrong name in the throes of ecstasy. That's not only a turn-off, it calls for immediate termination of the activity as well as the relationship.

 

9. UNANNOUNCED GUESTS

 

These guests may include a phone call, pets, roommate, family, friends, even children. You can choose not to answer a phone, which can be detrimental to the moment, depending on who is on the other line of the call (it's best to miss it and live in the moment) But as far as animals and people are concerned, may we suggest safety first - close all doors so that you are secure in the love room or area.

 

10. SLY SUGGESTIONS

 

Fantasies can make or break a moment. Sometimes, a specific request can send you running for the hills. If you are open to an intimate command, by all means, explore the options. But if you're not into that sort of thing, but you oblige anyway, just know that the suggestion will more than likely get even greater as time marches on. As Kenny Rogers sang, "You got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. Know when to run."

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com