Tue | Oct 17, 2017

Love is not irritable

Published:Monday | August 31, 2015 | 12:00 AM

How easily do you get irritated and offended? If your answer is very easily, then you are likely to have a hard time showing someone you love them.

This week's Love Corner might be one of the most common errors in a relationship - getting irritable easily. So we remind you that love is not irritable.

Even when under pressure, love should not turn sour. Minor problems should not cause major reactions. A loving wife is not overly sensitive or bad-tempered, but exercise emotional self-control. Love forces one to remain calm and patient, shows mercy and restrain his/her temper.

Why do people become irritable?

Stress is the order of the day. It weighs you down, drains your energy, weakens your immune system, and makes you do impulsive things that you might regret. Oftentimes, we inflict stress on ourselves through arguing, working too hard, overplaying, overspending, not getting enough rest, nutrition, or exercise.

Too often, we throw caution to the wind and run full steam ahead, doing what feels right at the moment. Before you know it, we are gasping for air, wound up in knots, and ready to snap. The increasing pressure can wear away at our patience and our relationships.

Taking a day each week for yourself is a good strategy that allows you to recharge and refocus. This will also place cushions between you and the pressures of life - reducing stress that puts you on edge all the time.

A deeper reason you might get irritable easily is because of selfishness. Some people are like lemons: when life squeezes them, they emit a lot of sour responses. Some persons are more like peaches: when the pressure hits them, the result is still sweet.

 

hidden area

 

Being easily angered is an indicator that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is supposed to be. But selfishness also wears many other masks.

When love dwells in your heart, it calms you down and inspires you to quit focusing on yourself. It loosens your grip and helps you to let go of unnecessary things.

Love will lead you to forgive instead of holding a grudge; to be grateful instead of greedy; content rather than rushing into more debt. Love encourages you to be happy when someone else succeeds rather than lying awake at night in envy. Love says: "share the inheritance" rather than "fight with your relatives."

It reminds you to prioritise your family rather than sacrifice them for a promotion at work. In each decision, love ultimately lowers your stress level and helps you release the venom that can build up inside. It then sets up your heart to respond to your partner with patience and encouragement rather than anger and exasperation.

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your relationships in loving ways instead of with irritation. List any wrong motivation that you need to release from your life.

cathy.risden@gleanerjm.com