Sat | Oct 21, 2017

Love Corner - Love seeks to understand

Published:Monday | September 28, 2015 | 12:00 AM

How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.- Proverbs 3:13

Last week's love corner reminded you that love is not jealous, and this week we look at love seeks to understand.

Many of us wish to be understood by our families and friends, and especially our partners. But how much do we know and understand about our partner?

Remember when you were courting? Didn't you desire the one your heart skips beats for?

When a man is trying to win a woman's heart, he studies her. He learns her likes, dislikes, habits, and hobbies. But after he wins her heart and marries her, he often stops learning about her. The mystery and challenge of knowing her may seem less intriguing.

This is also true for some women who start off admiring and building respect for the man they desire to be with. But after marriage, those feelings begin to fade.

Some of the problems people have in their relationship are simply because couples don't understand each other. They probably react very differently to certain situations and each partner can't figure out why.

These differences - even the ones that are relatively insignificant - can be the cause of many fights and conflicts in a marriage. That's because, as the Bible says, we tend to "revile" those things we don't understand.

There are reasons for this change of preferences. For each nuance in your partner's character, there is a back story. Each element of who he is, how he thinks, and what he's like is couched in a set of guiding principles, which often makes sense only to the person who holds them. But it's worth the time to study why they are the way they are.

If you missed the level of intimacy you once shared with your partner, one of the best ways to unlock their heart again is by making a commitment to get to know them. Study them. Read them like a book you are trying to understand.

Ask questions. The Bible says, "The ear of the wise seeks knowledge" (Proverbs 18:15). Love takes the initiative to begin conversations. In order to get your partner to open up, they need to know that your desire to understand them is real and genuine.

Ask God for discernment. "The Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding" (Proverbs 2:6). Things like gender differences, family background, and varied life experiences, can cloud your ability to know your mate's heart and motivations. But God is the giver of wisdom. The Lord will show you what you need in order to know how to love your spouse better.

There is a depth of beauty and meaning inside your wife or husband that will amaze you as you discover more of it. Enter the mystery with expectation and enthusiasm.

Make him, or her, your chosen field of study, and you will fill your home with the kind of riches only love can provide.

cathy.risden@gleanerjm.com