Love Corner: Love is accountable
Wise counsel is like a detailed road map guiding you along a long, challenging journey. It can be the difference between continual success and happiness, or a fruitless marriage. It is vital that you invite strong couples to share the wisdom they have gained through their own successes and failures.
The Love Corner reminded you last week that love endures, and this week, we will explore the accountable nature of love.
A couple that faces problems alone is more likely to fall apart during rough times. However, the ones who interlock their lives in a network of other strong marriages radically increase their chances of surviving the fiercest of storms. It is crucial that a husband and a wife pursue godly advice, healthy friendships, and experienced mentors.
Why waste years of your life learning painful lessons when you can discover those same truths during a few hours of wise counsel? Why not cross the bridges others have built? Wisdom is more valuable than gold. Not receiving it is like letting priceless coins pass through your fingers.
Good marriage mentors warn you before you make a bad decision and encourage you when you are ready to give up.
Do you have an older couple or a friend you can turn to for good advice, for prayer support, and for regular accountability check-ups? Do you have someone in your life who shoots straight with you?
You and your spouse need these types of friends and mentors on a consistent basis. The Bible says, "Encourage one another day after day ... so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin" (Hebrews 3:13). Too often we isolate ourselves from others. If we are not careful, we could push away the people who love us the most.
You must, however, guard yourself against the wrong influences. Everyone has an opinion, and some persons will encourage you to act selfishly in order to pursue your own happiness. Be careful about listening to advice from persons who don't have a happy marriage themselves.
If your marriage is hanging by a thread or is already heading for divorce, you need to stop everything and pursue solid counselling as quickly as possible. Call a pastor or a counsellor today. As awkward as it may initially be to open up your life to a stranger, your marriage is worth every second spent and every sacrifice you will make for it. Even if your marriage is fairly stable, you're in no less need of honest, open mentors - people who can put wind in your sails and make your marriage even better.
How do you pick a good mentor? You look for a person who has the kind of marriage you want. You look for a person whose love for Christ comes first, before everything else. You look for someone who doesn't live by his or her opinions, but by the unchanging Word of God. Most times, this person will be delighted that you asked for help. Start praying for God to send this person into your life.
If this doesn't sound important to you, it would be a good idea to ask yourself why. Do you have something to hide? Are you afraid you will be embarrassed? Do you think your marriage is exempt from needing outside help? Don't be the captain of another Titanic divorce by ignoring the warning signs around you when you could have been helped. Take charge and be accountable. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.