Tue | Oct 23, 2018

Love Corner: Love makes sacrifices

Published:Monday | December 14, 2015 | 12:00 AM

What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now? Is it something you could lift from their shoulders today by making a sacrifice? Whether the need is big or small, decide to do what you can to meet that need.

Love Corner reminds you that love makes sacrifices. It keeps you focused on your spouse's needs that you often respond without being asked. And when you don't notice ahead of time and must be told what's happening, love responds to the heart of the problem. Sometimes these problems are great, and though you have your own issues dealing with, putting your need aside to cater to theirs is sometimes the sacrifice we need to make.

We are the first to notice when our life gets difficult. When we want to complain, we expect everyone to understand and feel sorry for us. But too often, the only way we notice that life is hard for our partner is when they start complaining about it. Then instead of genuinely caring or rushing in to help, we might think they just have a bad attitude. The pain and pressure they undergo don't register with us the way it does when it's our pain and pressure.

When love is in action mode it sees the weight beginning to pile up and steps in to help before signs of distress, worry and trouble have begun to bury your partner. That is because love wants you to be sensitive to your spouse.

Even when your partner's stress comes out in words of personal accusation, love shows compassion rather than being defensive. Love inspires you to say 'no' to what you want, in order to say 'yes' to what your spouse needs.

Let love turn your attention to their needs.

• Is he 'hungry' - needing you sexually, even when you don't feel like it?

• Is she 'thirsty' - craving the time and attention you seem to be able to give everyone else?

• Does he feel like a 'stranger' - insecure in his work, needing home to be a refuge and sanctuary?

• Is she 'naked' - frightened or ashamed, desperate for the warm covering of your loving affirmation?

• Is he feeling 'sick' - physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?

• Does she feel in 'prison' - fearful and depressed, needing some safety and intervention?

These are the types of needs you should be looking for in your wife or husband.

Let your love be willing to make sacrifices to see that the needs of your spouse are given your very best effort and attention. When your partner is overwhelmed and under pressure, love calls you to set aside what seems so essential in your own life to help, even if it's just the gift of a listening ear.

Your spouse needs your undivided attention to see that you truly care about what this is costing them, and that you are serious about helping them seek answers; pray with them about what to do, and then keep following up to see how it's going.

The words "How can I help you?" need to stay fresh on your lips, whether the solution is simple or easy, complex or expensive, will take time, energy and great effort. You should do whatever you can to meet the real needs of the one who is a part of who you are. After all, when you help them, you are also helping yourself. That is the beautiful part of sacrificing for your spouse. Jesus did it for us. And He extends the grace to do it for others.