Tue | Aug 22, 2017

What would you do: The Ex-counter

Published:Monday | December 14, 2015 | 12:00 AMKrysta Anderson

No one wants to see their ex, unless they are still madly in love with them, which in any case you shouldn't really be seeing him or her. They are called exes for a reason.

And three is definitely a crowd if you see your ex while with your significant other. So, with that said, we asked, what would you do if your ex sees you, and in a twist of events, hugs and kisses you on the cheek or the forehead, while in the presence of your current?

Would you:

a) Introduce them both by name, highlighting only your current partner by his or her status, and why?

b) Introduce both for who they are, that is present partner and ex, and see how it plays out, and why?

or c) Say your ex is only your friend and introduce him or her to your current as that, and why?

The mixed review from some of our readers will definitely have you thinking inside as well as outside of the box! Here is what they had to say:

1. A. Not everyone can handle knowing that their partner is still on good terms with their ex. So I would highlight the current with his title and just the name of the other. If my boyfriend is not the jealous type, then he'd know after (at some point), that that was my ex.

- S.G., female.

 

2. A. I think it's the most appropriate. I think it reduces any kind of awkwardness among the three of us and it makes me feel safer.

- C.B., male.

 

3. I would have to say B. If I am really serious about my new guy, I want him to trust me, so I would let him know what's up from day one. I would probably rage at my ex for trying to show up my new man, though; that's rude.

- S.C., female

 

4. A. If I introduce my ex as my ex to my current then I'm saying that my ex still holds status. Just introduce her as a regular friend without any status or history. That way you play down there significance. When you get home you can 'fess up, in private.

- M.W., male.

 

5. I'd have to say A. I prefer to explain matters to my current partner in private. The ex is obviously trying to provoke a reaction. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing us quarrel over him.

- R.E., female.

 

6. I would [go] wild on the ex right there actually, because it is clear that she is trying to hype in front of my new 'bae' and we can't have that.

- K.M., male.

 

7. I'd have to say A. I prefer to explain matters to my current partner in private. The ex is obviously trying to provoke a reaction. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing us quarrel over him.

- R.E., female.

 

8. Answer A. Because if I don't, I would be in hot water. I couldn't mention she was an ex because hell would break loose. That's a big violation. Then again, my ex wouldn't even dare to do a thing like that. Knowing me, she wouldn't get the chance to get so close to me to even attempt to do so.

- R.S., male.

 

9. C, because if the other person knows he is my ex, then he would know there would be history between us both, which could cause some issues and make my current partner think something is still going on.

- S.N., female.

10. A. I would only mention my current by status because I need the ex to see that I have moved on to bigger and better.

- J.J., male.

 

11. I would do A, because the status of the ex is irrelevant at that point. Highlighting it would probably start unnecessary conversation. However, in a private setting I can state that he was an ex and if my current has any questions, we can address that there too, not in the middle of the street.

- M.A., female.

 

12. I would introduce them both by name and only highlight my

current partner. I don't think it's nice to the partner to come out with "this is my ex" right away. After I've made the introductions and we go our separate ways I would say that it was my ex. After which I would explain why we ended and why we are still friends. It also depends on which ex. Is it a recent ex, or someone from way back in the past? That also will determine how I explain my past relationship with my current.

- A.W., male

 

13. A, because my significant other would know who my exes are and the ex needs to know their place, that it is in the past, respect my present and never do that again in the future.

- R.K., female

 

14. I would choose A. I would want to assure my current partner that I only have eyes for her. My ex is my past: no need to bring up whatever history we had.

- C.L., male.

 

15. That would have to sneak up on me real good to happen. But if I have to choose, I would choose A. Maybe I would later tell my boyfriend that he is my ex, but I would not do it there. I prefer to eliminate any potential of a confrontation. And the ex would know to back up.

- V.L., female

 

16. I would do A because my ex needs to know that what she pulled isn't cool. Don't want 'bae' to create a scene too so I'd tell her at a later date and play it off initially like the girl is just a random friend who never knew my current is the wife.

- G.W., male.

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com