Mon | Aug 20, 2018

Shopping for Christmas? Don't fret

Published:Monday | December 21, 2015 | 12:00 AM

(Disclaimer: OK, so I did one Christmas piece last week, so let's just make it two-in-a-row and call it even. Yo-ho-ho!)

As I write this, I'm actually in a good mood.

That's because I've already got a taste of the good old sorrel for Christmas and had some cake. Plus I just listened to Dear Nola for the first time this season. Now if you haven't heard it yet, hush. If you have no idea what I'm talking about then big up yourself, because half yuh life lost! Anyway, it is because of my merry mentality that I have decided to impart some wisdom for the season, especially as it relates to some a unnu 'packet'.

Now we all have that one item (or two, or three or four) that we really want for Christmas. But that doesn't mean you should spare no expense in trying to get it, unless of course you have it like that. If, however, like the average Jamaican, you don't have it so well, then you need some sound teaching. So my first piece of advice is if you have to not buy something else in order to afford the dream item, then it means you cannot really afford said dream item. Buy sinting else!

For all the men who have multiple women for whom they are shopping this season, dog nyameth your supper. Experts will tell you a myriad of things about the economy blah blah blah. Fact is, the dollar simply doesn't stretch like it used to, and the gifts are getting more sophisticated. And let's face it, we know these women ain't with you because you look like Denzel Washington or Robin Thicke. So di gift dem haffi tun up (do we still use that phrase?)! I suggest if you have three women, buy fi two. And tell the third one say nobody nuh get nutten diss year. If is four, buy for three and so on. God help yuh if they know each other though.

As for parents, especially those with multiple children, I feel your pain (though I have no little ones). Whereas the cashy Casanova can afford to pick and choose, you most certainly cannot! That's how little Johnnie turns into a real-life story on The First 48 - because he got no Christmas love. So I suggest if you have children of the same gender and roughly the same age, buy everybody di same ting. Just use different colours so dem know who wha belong to. If dem nuh like it, at least all a dem wi vex, not just one. If you have let's say a boy and a girl, buy the male and female version of the same thing. Is a win-win fi you because 1) you might get it two-for-one at the store, and 2) again, neither child can feel left out.

One more thing. For the love of all humanity, do not wait until Christmas Eve to go shopping. If you nuh gone yet, do it today. Love and thanks. Enjoy di season.

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