New Year, New You
As individuals we tend to see the flaws in others and sometimes just see perfection within ourselves or flaws that are a result of someone else's action. The new year is just days away and we would like you to enter it with a new perspective and better outlook on life. Life and corporate coach Cheryll Messam of youinmindjamaica.com gave us a few tips to assist with our short coming in different areas of our lives.
1. For the procrastinators in us we must first think of "What is causing me to delay on this?"
2. Be honest with yourself and try to identify what is it that is preventing you from moving forward. It could be anything from emotions to financial setbacks.
3. After identifying these you create a plan of action to address or eliminate the source, because as long as it exists it will discourage you from taking timely action. In addition, ask for the help of a supportive person to keep you accountable to take action.
Anger and Irritability
1. Negative emotions serve a useful purpose of informing you that 'something' you don't like, or danger, is present. It can be said that it enables your fight or flight mode. However, they have the downside of being destructive when prolonged, and they reduce your physical energy and clarity of thought to take action on your various tasks and responsibilities in daily life. Recognise that emotions are an integral part of a seemingly automatic sequence of your thoughts, influencing your emotions which in turn influence your behaviour. Therefore to change negative emotions and resulting behaviour, you need to change the way you think about the situations that provoke these emotions.
2. Change the way you think by challenging yourself to look at the situation in different ways, including from the point of view of other stakeholders in the matter, who may think very differently from you do.
3. You can question your own assumptions about the situation. You can do additional research so you are fully informed about the situation. This helps you to avoid making the wrong conclusions. Being open to different ways of thinking about an issue helps to change your thinking. Having new information helps to change your thinking
4. The other aspects of handling negative emotions appropriately are your health. The greater your physical health, the better your emotional well being, and the clearer you think. This in turn increases your tolerance to handle challenges and provocations in a healthy way. You should strive for good nutrition, adequate rest, regular exercise and the effective management of any health challenges based on advice from the appropriate medical practitioner.
Tolerance of Others
1. To become more tolerant of others, think about the values you have in relation to how you wish to be treated by others, and how you wish to treat persons in family, in friendship, in the workplace, in religious groups, and in community. Become clear as to why these values are important to you. Consciously allow your desire to live true to your values, to guide how you treat and respond to other persons, especially when you feel provoked.
2. You can improve your tolerance of others through: Learning to manage your emotions; relating to others with curiosity and respect; sincerely asking and thinking about the point of view of other persons;
3. Giving feedback without becoming personal; identifying clearly what is a non-negotiable subject versus what you can overlook and let go.
4. Practising empathy; practising immediate forgiveness so as to prevent negative emotions from building up and leading to bitterness or resentment; maintaining good health to build tolerance against stress.
1. Ensure that your goals have the characteristics of being Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic and Time bound (SMART). An example of a SMART Goal would be, "To improve my health by losing 15 pounds in the period January - March 2016." Create a schedule of your weekly, daily, monthly actions that must be done in order to achieve your goal by the due date. Once the action plan is documented, set up an environment for success by introducing habits and resources that will support your goal achievement (e.g. Commit to an exercise schedule, join a gym); and eliminate habits and items that will work against your goal achievement (e.g. Remove foods of high fat, sugar and salt content from refrigerator, cupboard and your menu choice when dining out; eat on time).
2. Incorporate motivators into your actions steps. For example, ask a supportive person to hold you accountable to doing your weekly action steps, and connect with the person at the agreed on time weekly to report on your progress, discuss challenges, and get encouragement.
3. Identify how you will congratulate yourself as you complete milestones en route to achieving your goals and make the effort to stop and celebrate and feel proud of yourself as you achieve each milestone.
Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP
Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach
Energy Leadership Master Practitioner
You in Mind Jamaica - Your Ally for Excellence in Life & Work