Mon | Sep 25, 2017

How I Got Rid Of My Stalker Ex-Boyfriend

Published:Monday | February 1, 2016 | 2:00 AMKrysta Anderson

What do you do when your ex-boyfriend or some man that you had no particular intimate relations with stalks your every move?

Today, we hear from four females who have had first-hand experience with stalkers. They also shared insight into how they put an end to the personal invasion of their privacy.

• My boyfriend was not only abusive but controlling. And while I loved him, I knew I had to leave him. As an ex, he messaged me all the time, but I have not responded to them in about a year now. He added me on Snapchat, followed me on Instagram and has people look on my Facebook page.

He messaged me so much on Whatsapp I had to block him. The messages were all the same; "I'm sorry. Why don't you respond? I miss you. It's OK, I don't need you to respond, thought you loved me, we had something good."

Ignoring him seems to be doing the trick, because luckily for me, he hasn't texted me since Christmas. Hopefully, he is done now, for good.

- M. A., 29

n I had a stalker once, but he wasn't really my ex. There was this one guy I was testing the waters with, but he had no ambition, seemed too possessive, and showed signs that he would be abusive, so I shut it down before it could reach anywhere. He kept calling and stalking my Facebook page, cursing me out in a derogatory way, telling me I disrespected him and I didn't know a good man when I saw one.

I blocked his number and temporarily shut down my Facebook page. Some time after that, I saw him on the road and our eyes made four. I quickly walked by praying he didn't recognise me.

- M.C., 26

n It would have been more understandable if he was my boyfriend, but he was never my partner. We went to school and I was aware he liked me so I kept our friendship to 'hi' and 'bye' or mostly about school work. He asked me out and I declined, telling him that I did not want to give him the wrong impression.

Once he asked me to the movies - it was a group of us and an action movie, so I thought that it was safe. The night went well. When I was leaving I hugged everyone else and gave him a handshake to ensure he was not misled. He called me at 3 a.m. the next morning crying that I didn't care about him. I hung up. For the next few weeks, I had approximately 15 missed calls every few hours.

He sent me emails. I had to change my number because nothing I said would stop him. I changed my email. Shut down my Facebook and Twitter accounts to start right over and he always managed to find me. so I blocked him. He later found out who my best friend was, something I never told him, and gave her a letter to give me. I asked the police for advice but they said since I had not physically seen him (in more than two years) and his notes and gifts were no suggestion of violence, but rather a persistent crush, I shouldn't worry too much. The worst part was when I changed my accounts, he could still tell me what I wore to work. I realised I had to block him again. He found my sister and gave her a gift for me. This continued for more than four years and it was not until he migrated that it finally stopped.

- G. F., 28

n We dated briefly and when I started seeing someone else, he took offence. He accused me and I confirmed that I was seeing someone else. That's when he started trailing me from work. He even ended up at my current boyfriend's house, camping out in his car outside. He was later able to tell me everything that happened there that night, confirming that he was actually peeping into the house. Things came to a head one night when he trailed me from a club. When I wouldn't get into the car as he insisted, he brandished his gun. I had to change both my work and home addresses in order to get rid of him.

- K.L., 33

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com