Sat | Jul 21, 2018

Sex After Motherhood

Published:Monday | May 2, 2016 | 12:00 AMKrysta Anderson

Sex between lovers is a beautiful thing, and sometimes two become three and a little bundle of joy is born. Those nine months of pregnancy for a mother is life-changing.

So, what happens to mommy and daddy's love life thereafter? How do they balance their new leading roles while rekindling the passion and desire they have for each other? Four mothers shared with Flair their own experiences and dished out their secret ingredient to their love reconnection.

Simone Palmer*, whose baby boy will be turning one soon, revealed that at this point, her love life is great. She confessed, however, that the immediate aftermath was just the opposite. "It was really due to a combination of things: the general stress of pregnancy on my body, the emotional roller coaster in the weeks after, and stitches. Sex was just non-existent for the first few months after. After that point, it was a matter of slowly working back into the groove, learning to accept the physical changes to my body (not feeling attractive), actually working on returning strength to the muscles, sometimes discomfort or pain."

She noted that it is important to not give up, but rather work with the seemingly sluggish progression until the body and emotions readjust. "Now my husband and I are as good as ever. The only thing that stands in the way at times is carving out the time for it. It is now a little more difficult to be spontaneous, but there are positives, too, because it makes you want to make the best use of the times that you do have."




Mother of two, Sheena Brathwaite*, shared similar sentiments as it relates to time management. She reveals that her sex life changed because the demands of her children became greater than anything else. At the end of the day, she was so physically exhausted that she had absolutely no energy for sex. How did she solve this problem? "I actually got a live-in helper so I could make more time for myself and my husband. Initially, I had someone come in each day before I went to work, but then she would leave by the time I got home from work so that did not help much. The live-in helper really made a difference and we could actually go out on dates again."

Kayla Bingham*, who only has one child, had before giving birth expressed her concerns about sex being affected post-baby with her husband. As a result of that conversation, they had sex throughout her pregnancy. "After the six weeks, it was a little awkward. I wasn't sure how my body would respond, but once I saw that I could relax, it was great. And he said it felt like the six-week wait made a positive change. We picked up right where we had left off."




Tricia Panton*, who is currently expecting her second child with her boyfriend, affirmed, like Bingham, that they remained active right up to the birth of their first daughter, took the necessary break after, then jumped right back on the sex bandwagon. "Post-surgery, once we got the go-ahead from the doctor six weeks after, we were back at it like we had never stopped. It was like a virgin touched for the very first time all over again! There were awkward moments, but we made it happen and used her sleep time to get our personal party started." Suffice it to say, their love life has been so wonderful that three years after the birth of their first daughter, they are expecting another girl this month.


*Names changed upon request