Mon | Jul 16, 2018

Kelly's World | No sale today, bossy

Published:Monday | June 6, 2016 | 12:00 AM

I was picking up some stuff in Half-Way Tree recently, and as usual, there were vendors aplenty.

"My boss, weave basket, mat?" one guy asked. "No man, I don't need any of those, but thanks." was my reply. He persisted to tell me they were of good quality. In fairness, they did look good, but I still didn't need them. Anyway, trying not to be a turd, I tried to let him down easy.

"Dem look good, yes, but mi nuh really need any," I said. End of discussion, right? Alas, I'm just not that lucky.

"All right how 'bout a likkle basket fi yuh modda carry har tings?" he persisted. By now, yours truly, who is not renowned for his patience (even though I do try), was getting annoyed. Still not wanting to look like a punk, I tried again.

"No man, trust me, she have dem ting deh. We have all a dem likkle ting deh," I said. And with that, I walked away. The store I was going to was literally a stone's throw away. Went in, did my business and left. Didn't take five minutes. Spent about another 10 minutes at another store, and returned to my car. As I'm opening the door, I hear a now familiar (and now irritating) voice.

"So wha yuh say now mi boss? Yuh ready?" Can you believe this bloke came back? Again! This time, whatever part of me holds doors for people and gives 'bly' in traffic, had disappeared.

"Bredren, mi tell yuh already. Mi nuh need none a dat! Mi talk to yuh already," I said, in a volume I really don't like to reach.

"All right mi boss," he replied, meeker than a daughter asking her father for a new doll. Now I don't like to deal with people like that, but some people just do not listen. I understand they're trying to make a sale. I get it. But the vendors have to also get it that they're not going to make a sale every time. What bothers me is how prevalent this behaviour is. I've seen conductors literally pushing people into buses even though the person never indicated they were taking that mode of transport. I've seen taxi men pull up beside pedestrians who had not signalled them to stop. It's like they're trying to hypnotise them into taking their transport. Never heard of a prostitute actually getting into a car without getting the go-ahead, but then that's not my area of expertise.




As a Jamaican who has never spent more than two days outside these waters, I am used to this type of vending by now. But imagine someone visiting the island for the first time. Better yet, someone on their first trip to anywhere outside their native land. Such experiences, and I admit this one is comparatively mild, can be bad PR. I am all for people 'eating a food', especially if it's legal, but a little more decorum goes a long way.

Sigh, why do I always run into the weirdos? Later.

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