The Independent woman saga
Self-sufficient trio Destiny's Child advocates for the shoes on their feet, the clothes they wear and the diamond rings they rock as their very own because they worked hard to buy them. For them, that is the epitome of the independent woman. But what are the views of the 'fellas'?
Powerhouse singer and producer Ne-Yo embraces the independent woman, saying that if she works and plays like a boss, pays her own bills and owns her 'crib', then she is the girl he wants. With that said, let's get the views of our male counterparts closer to home.
Are Jamaican men falling into formation with the aspirations of the independent woman? Flair spoke to a few of their male readers and this is what they had to say:
"Love them! I think a woman who is independent is worth every effort. An independent woman is a prized woman!"
- C.B. 27
"Personally, I have no problem with an independent woman. The fact that she doesn't need a man to survive is very admirable."
- A.B. 25
"Big up the independent woman. I'm all for a woman who believes in herself, has potential and actively takes steps to fulfil her dreams. However, sometimes women tend to mistake independence for over-confidence. That creates an issue because they replace strength with bitterness."
- C.R. 29
"One thing, I am not intimidated by them. Sometimes I am a bit attracted to them as long as they are not narcissistic."
- L.H. 31
"I fully support and endorse it,
as long as they are not [catty] or bitter, and not the 'I-don't-need-a-man' type, but one who understands the value that a good man can bring to her life, without
having to compromise her indivi-duality, morals, or sanity."
- Z.W. 28
"In my opinion, women have the right to be independent if they want to as long as, in a relationship, they let go of some of the independence a bit and be a partner."
- B.C. 28
"I don't really care. I think everyone needs to rely on someone male or female. But it's also good to have the strength to stand on your own. The Bible warns us of this independent spirit though, and so I think those things have no place in a relationship which is governed by dependence."
- R.W. 24
"I think there's a misunderstanding when it comes to a woman being independent. It's almost as if it means to accept nothing from anyone and reject the kindness or charity of others. There is something commendable about a woman standing on her own feet and doing things for herself but if she's looking to be in a relationship, she has to remember that she can be independent, but also that there is someone she can lean on. I notice that the type of independence that is being talked about is synonymous to pride, and while pride is important, no one should be proud enough to refuse help."
- E.D. 21
"'Eve, the first woman on earth, did something because she was enticed by 'independence'. This strong spirit, the world promotes, is a load of 'bull'. There is nothing wrong with having a strong value of self and your worth, that is a given for any healthy human. But this boss lady and independent women thing, it's to confuse you. It's as if you actually have no idea what role to play as a woman because you have been allowing the world to tell you, you should be a boss lady. When you live your life as a boss lady, you cannot have a functional relationship unless your man/
husband is a bendable boy.
- M. E. 30
"Normally, a man who wants a dependent woman is a sleazebag who wants to be adored, begged, worshipped and asked for everything and wants everything to be up to him. He is probably kind of narcissistic or the jealous type who needs a woman at his beck and call. He may even be abusive. Whereas a decent guy, like myself, would relish the success of his partner, seeing that it would only benefit them if she can provide, making it a more well-rounded and balanced relationship. I think the thing is, when it comes to the independent women, guys are turned off by the fear that they're not needed and that she's better than he is. But in the end, it doesn't really matter, especially if she's willing to be with you."
- S.D. 23