Wed | Sep 20, 2017

Booty call 101

Published:Monday | July 18, 2016 | 7:00 AM

It's Friday night, and you're finally home from what seems to be one of the most hectic days known to man. Just when you thought you wanted no company for the night, your phone buzzes. When you pick it up, you're greeted by a message requesting an audience later on to engage in steamy, sultry, intertwined passion for two, with you.

Now, you have two options: you can either reply yes, and begin the foreplay then and there via text. Or you could call it a night, stating the obvious, that you're too tired and ask if he could take a rain check. Why is it so simple? Well, if this is what typically happens to you on the weekend, or even during the week, then you may be involved in what many would like to call 'a booty call'.

And you may have your personal reasons for choosing this path of living in the heated of the moment: maybe you're caught up in the hustle and bustle of the real world and can't be bothered with anything serious, maybe you've suffered tremendous heartache in the past and would like to avoid that, or maybe it is that you decided to you want to just 'play the field'.

Whatever the reason or the season, you cannot deny that there are certain unwritten rules to making a special arrangement like this work. But just in case you weren't aware of them, don't fear, just be happy you came to the Flair. Without further ado, let's get started, shall we?

1 Actions definitely speak louder than words when it comes to engaging in the infamous 'booty call'. So you are encouraged to talk less and exert more in the physical department.

2 Make intimacy your common ground: anything outside of that calls for feelings, and you don't want those kinds of emotions playing tricks on you, in imagining more than what already exists.

3 Drunken booty calls will make for great stories, but it would be safer to drink responsibly before going over, or calling him or her to come by. That way, you remember all that was said and done and won't be left in the wilderness the next day wondering why did he or she decide to block you.

4 Speaking of calls, booty calls in modern times are arranged via text message rather than a call because some say it seems more impersonal that way. But if dirty talking on the phone before tickles both your fantasies, then by all means, call away.

5 They say ex-lovers make for excellent boots callers, but if it is that this particular ex did more bad than good while he or she filled the role as your significant other, maybe he is trying to be a shot caller, wanting have his cake with your 'goodies' and eat it too, topped with 'no strings attached'. It may be best to leave that one as an ex - he or she might be using you, and if you're not into that, then send him or her on their merry way.

6 Always decide on the venue when working out the details: whether it is his or her house, or your house. If he calls to come over too often, while that may be your comfort zone, switch it up and pay a few visits to his house. You don't want to playing the role of side chick - they are not the same.

7 Set parameters for scheduling a booty call: do you make a booty call booking a couple hours before, boycott that and go for a spur of the moment or reserve days, or weeks in advance to make it all happen? You both decide.

8 Don't be afraid to say no. Yes, you may have the fear that he or she might call someone else. If that is happening, you might have contracted feelings, but you have no jurisdiction across those borders so return to your booty call homeland. Otherwise, already made plans, just gently say you're not available and see if you both could find an alternative time. On the other side of the fence, if he or she has told you no, don't badger the situation, simply check the facts, then work from there. Remember, the aim is to keep things as casual as possible.

9 Have fun! If you are faking it in order to make it work, then that's no fun now, is it? Also, ensure you are engaging in intimacy responsibly: nothing can make a booty caller disappear like a thief in the night quite like a pregnancy or an sexually transmitted disease.

10 Cannot stress this enough: if you find yourself thinking about your booty caller more than the booty call itself, then you, my friend, are falling in love and need to abort booty call mission immediately, hand in your badge and retire from being a field agent.