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Kelly's World | Lessons from politics (yes, there are)

Published:Monday | July 18, 2016 | 7:00 AM

Believe it or not, you can actually learn something from politics.

Now, while it's not my favourite topic (I prefer to talk about things like grass growing), even a 'politics-phobe' like me can appreciate some of the happenings going on. First thing you can learn, know when fi lef' di work. And no, I am NOT talking about Sista P (although I could, couldn't I?)

David Cameron, di nice likkle prime minister fi Britain, haffi pack up him bungle dem and go a him yaad, 'cause di people dem decide fi lef' di European Union. But because di people dem decide say dem not into it anymore, Cameron decide say, 'look yah man, me nah drive da car yah again'. And I agree. Now, even though some Jamaicans still remember his whole 'tek da prison yah' argument and the 'get ova it' argument about slavery, mi neva mind Cameron enuh.

But den fi replace him, there was supposed to be a keen contest between Theresa May and Andrea Leadsom. Until Leadsom put har size 10 or whatever she wear inna har mouth. She said something about having children and massa, dem nearly kill har. Poor Leadsom haffi pull out a di race faster than when Bolt feel him hamstring. Now, whether the media twisted or misinterpreted Leadsom's remarks is another matter. The lesson, I suppose is speak clearly or kibba yuh mout!

So we end up with May taking over. And so what are people talking about? Her background? Aptitude? Potential changes? Nope, how she dresses; from har boot to har frock a mek headlines. Two lessons to be taken here. From a you buy yuh own clothes, don't pay nuhbaddy nuh mind. The other lesson? Always look your best; you never know who's watching.

 

LESSER EVIL

 

As fi di US and fi dem foolishness. Am I the only one who wants this presidential race to be over? Mi tiyad fi hear Donald Chump and Billary Clinton. Bernie Sanders (him did old as dirt, so mi nuh know weh him did even a run fah) have big rally fi say him a stop rally. Wha happen? Yuh couldn't send one email?! Thing is, some of the people cheering for Hillary aren't doing so because they think she's great; dem just nuh waan Trump win! Lesson here is: sometimes you haffi tek di lesser of two evils.

Locally, the People's National Party (yuh tink dem come to terms wid di losing yet?) are set to have their own internal elections. Sista P (okay, I'm gonna go there) was allegedly going out, but decided against it. If that's true, she might waan tek two words of advice from Cameron. But then again, Edward 'One Don' Seaga was a major influence on her, and we saw how long he stayed as party leader over the green-clad side. So all who wanted to get Sista P parking space look like dem haffi wait likkle longer. So I guess the lesson there is, patient man ride donkey.

Who say politicians can't teach us anything? Oh, wait, I did. Never mind. Later.

- Link me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com