Wed | Feb 21, 2018

You get what you give

Published:Monday | July 18, 2016 | 12:00 AM
Sarah Jessica Parker

It is no news that your wardrobe says a lot about you. What you wear can inform passers-by of your type of employment, as well as your ambitions, emotions and spending habits. Oftentimes, we as women struggle to find men who will love and cherish us, but we sometimes fail to realise that the clothes we wear, our behaviour and the places we go reflect who we are and send messages that may attract the wrong type of men.

Flair spoke with relationship counsellor, Sheldon Givans, and relationship specialist and sexologist,

Sidney McGill, to figure out the messages we send based on our choice of clothing, and how we can use our wardrobe to change how others perceive us, and even how we think about ourselves.

According to Givans, people perceive based on appearance, and in the culture we now live in, a story is created around our appearance by onlookers. This stereotype causes men to get the wrong perception of a woman.

"For example, when a man sees a woman dressed in discreet clothing, he might think she is a Christian or of a Christian background who has morals, and when he sees a woman in revealing clothing, he might build a story that the woman is adventurous and 'freaky'. In modern society, this is dangerous as women are now dressing trendy and sexy but still have morals and are not an easy lay," expressed Givans.

Givans also highlighted that most young women of our society are drawn to men that are about sex because those men know what to say and do to get women to sleep with them.




Most of us may seek love and commitment, but the choice of clothing and behaviour we display on social media, and when we go out for leisure, may not attract a man of commitment and faithfulness. McGill shared with Flair that the men who are prowling social media for someone to stimulate and fulfil their yearning are not the men willing to settle down.

"Women, of course, want to dress attractively and be trendy, but if they choose to wear such, they must be conscious of where they're at, who they're with and cautious of the men who approach them. Women who are looking for commitment must think with their heads and not their hearts. Also, men who are willing to commit may not choose a woman that is all about the 'hype' and spending money every week to change outfits. As a result, women have to wear and represent what they want," voiced McGill.

McGill advises women who are seeking committed and faithful partners to first develop non-intimate relationships with the men before having sexual relations with them. He also emphasised that the people we trust should have a say in the choices we make, and will also be the ones to see through our blindsides.

"It is important to have self-knowledge, self-love and self-confidence as it will direct the way you dress, represent and think of yourself," McGill expressed.