Wed | Aug 23, 2017

Gaining Your Independence

Published:Monday | August 1, 2016 | 8:00 AMKrysta Anderson

It's safe to say that people have grown to love and appreciate an independent woman. But somewhere along the way, some women have traded in their liberty to cruise on the two-way highway of love.

Now, don't get me wrong, love is a beautiful thing, but if you discover that in your committed relationship you are operating for two and neglecting you, then you've probably lost some well-needed balance in your life. If you realise, too, that on trying to get over a terrible break-up, it's almost impossible for you to ditch your 'twin' lifestyle and enjoy your singleness, then, Houston, we definitely have a problem. You need to regain some of your independence.

If you fit into either of these two categories, here are a few tips to emancipate yourself from couple 'slavery' and free your mind into doing things for yourself.

1Rekindle the passion you once had with your hobby. So if you once loved to paint or swim - whatever it may be, revisit it and invest in some time apart from your love.

Now please note that if it is a common interest that you two share, abort that mission and find something that's solely for you. Doing an activity that he also loves may hurt. and holding on to something you both did together, when it's over is just not healthy. Let it go and get your groove back with a new interest.

2 Night out with the girls. Yes, you all used to hit the club when you were young, wild and free. And now that you're older, that life doesn't matter. For those who want to get over a lost love, this might be just what you need to take your mind off of 'you know who'. And for the lovers, you may want to try engaging in activities that you like with friends.

3 Take a spa day. I would say this is just for the ladies - but there's nothing like working out all that built-up tension and escaping to paradise and back, all in one session.

4 If you do your own hair at home, stop. Take it elsewhere - to a friend's house, or get it done at the hairdresser. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder and I'm sure your partner will appreciate the alone time too. He will miss you in the process and love you even more when you return as a upgraded version of yourself. P.S.: Nothing screams 'I'm ready to move on with my life' more than a new hairdo to spice up your outlook on life. So go slay.

5 Now this is just for couples: spend time apart together. Sounds like a silly concept but it just may do the trick. You may love to read, while your significant other might love to watch television. Instead of Netflix and chill, you go in a separate room or even in the same room (if you're not too distracted) indulge in that book and have him enjoy that movie, sans communication, until you have both determined that the time apart is over. Just try it. It may work wonders on rocking your love boat safely to shore.

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com