Sun | Aug 20, 2017

What makes a good man?

Published:Monday | September 5, 2016 | 9:39 AMKimberly Goodall

So you have read his profile, spoken to your friends, and he seems like a great catch. But are you sure? We all know that you have to actually spend time with a man to know who he really is. What if there are just some things that you could look out for before you start investing your time and energy into a man?

Is it really the men or is it our poor choices in selecting men that leads to so many women crying of heart ache? There are good men out there but it depends on what women are looking for in a man. With this in mind, Flair asked its readers to share how they spot a 'good man'.

A man that displays protective or provider qualities is a good man in my eyes. For example, if he waits until I’m inside and closes the door before driving off. A good man is one I can have a conversation with for hours without any physical intimacy. It shows that he respect me and he is genuinely into me and what I have to say.

Also, a man whose hormones are raging but he is man enough to say let's not rush — that's a keeper. I also watch a man's interactions with children and dogs; it speaks volume. It reflects how genuine a person is and how good their heart is. Most importantly, how he interacts with and speaks about his mother; it shows he is family oriented and respect women in general. I feel these are the men who are usually not afraid to open up about their feelings. T.P.- Relationship for a year

I’m no expert but different people like different things. For me, it really depends on where I spot him. Generally, he's groomed (not overly), not the life of the party, nor is he chatty and flirty. His eyes aren't all over the place following every skirt tail passing. A good man is polite to the people who serves him. R.H. — Married for four years

This is going to sound a little vain, but I look at how he carries himself. There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance, so I pretty much try to see if I can spot that as early as possible — confidence in a good man is a good thing. A man who has a good relationship with his family is a good man in my book, and a family man is a good man for me.

Also, a man who is passionate and ambitious about a career path. Those two qualities definitely make for a good man, for me anyway. One who pays close attention to details, like remembering the smallest of things are a big deal. This is going to sound cliché, but one who sees my flaws and either works with them or views them as positive attributes is a great man in my book. And the most important thing, if he's really into you as a person, then you know for sure, when the lust fades, then he will be the Clyde to your Bonnie for a lifetime. K.A.- Relationship for three years

His charisma and the type of conversation he wants to have with you will show you if you’ve spotted a good man. If he’s talking about sex and money, you know he is just there for that reason. If he’s talking about the future, telling you his plans and asking about your, you will see that he’s looking for maturity and is serious about what he wants. A good man keeps his promises and takes the time out to explain when he couldn’t. He also treats everyone with respect whether he knows them or not. K.N. Relationship for five years

He makes you feel like you have a person who’s on your side, on your team, always rooting for you. He’s the one you can talk to about anything, and he makes you feel like there’s always someone out there caring about you and thinking about you. D.A.- Married for 20 years

Maybe the spotting a good man is based on how someone lines up with your ideals and expectations because I think you have to know the person for a while before you can tell if they are truly good and even then you may never know. S.C. — Married for nine years. 

kimberly.goodall@gleanerjm.com