Tue | Oct 24, 2017

The Pressure to Propose

Published:Monday | September 19, 2016 | 12:00 AMKrysta Anderson

Every girl dreams of meeting her prince charming and having him sweep her off her feet and asking her that magical question - will you marry me?, so they can live happily ever after.

But then, you become a woman and realise that the reality of the situation may not be a fairy-tale you had once hoped for. So we asked a few of our readers if they feel or felt pressured into proposing, or if they think they pressured their partner into popping the question.

At first, I didn't think I pressured him into proposing. I didn't even know he had plans for it. However, I do think I might have pressured him to do it over by saying I wish I had a certain type of proposal. And that actually made me feel bad after the excitement subsided from the second proposal. We spoke about it and he said he wanted to make me happy, hence he decided to do it over.

J.G, female, recently engaged

Personally, pressures were there, but I decided not to be affected by it. I proposed when got the go ahead from God. There was a lot of pressure from peers, older people, media. Some would say, 'You're getting old.' Others, 'don't make the right one get away from you. They even said that she wouldn't wait long on me.'

B.C, male, married two years.

Sometimes I feel like I do, but for the most part, I don't think I am, since he's actually just as much into discussing it as I am.

J.M., female, in a relationship for three years.

I felt just a little pressure, but if I could really describe it, I was more nervous than pressured. And I guess that's because it was my first time, knowing it was a big thing.

R.S., male, married nine years.

I wouldn't say I feel like I'm pressuring - I don't look at it that way. It's sort of a non-negotiable hint or cue. However, I don't overdo it. Whenever my heart feels the need to express the topic, it will resurface.

J.H, female, in a relationship for two years.

No, I don't feel pressured into proposing. If I see the need to do it, I will, but other than that, she could impress and curse all she wants. If I don't have peace of mind, I won't make the mistake and trick anybody into thinking that I want to marry them. Don't get me wrong, marriage is a good thing. Getting married for the wrong reasons is the mistake.

P.B., male, in a relationship for two years.

I think my husband probably felt pressured into proposing because I made it very clear that it was the next non-negotiable move for me. After all, we had been living together for several years and already had two children. As a result, when it finally came, it was a bit anticlimactic. Ironically, he was more excited than I was on the wedding day.

M.A. female, married for 10 years

I wasn't pressured into proposing to my now wife. The pressure only came at the appointed time. I was sweating and shaking, trying to get to my words out correctly - all worth it in the end.

A.M., male, married for two years

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com