Soulful Oasis: Release what no longer serves you
"Bag Lady, you gone miss your bus; you can't hurry up, cause you got too much stuff ... One day all them bags gone get in your way. One day all them gone get in your way. I said one day ... all them bags gone get in your way ..."
- Erykah Baddu
Recently on a Smile Jamaica interview, we started our conversation on releasing what no longer serves you with this song. I love this song! Aside from its absolutely rhythmic melody, Erykah Baddu is spouting some truth in it. "You gone miss your bus, coz you got too much stuff, yes you've got too much stuff ..." and the song, with its beautiful melody, goes on in my head.
While this song is specifically related to women who carry baggage from relationship to relationship and, as a result, lessen their chances of successful relationships in the future, the underlying point of the song is applicable to all areas of our life - including situations, circumstances, people and things which no longer serve us.
If our hair is breaking, the hairdresser cuts it, and if a tree isn't sprouting, it is pruned. Both of these actions are done to promote growth. Similarly, when things are no longer serving us and sometimes sucking the life energy out of us, we need to learn how to release and surrender them with love.
Now, I can attest that this can be challenging, and is much easier said than done. Some of the more difficult release-and-surrender moments in my life have seen me holed up in my room, lying in my bed for the better part of the day as I try to wrap my mind around why I must now do what I have to do.
CREATING SPACE FOR MORE
However, as difficult as those moments have been, I've never regretted them, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that they always created space for even bigger and better possibilities and growth in my life.
I'm not special in this regard, and just as releasing certain things have created space for bigger and better things for me, it can be the same for you.
The tricky thing is that we sometimes don't know when to release, or at least we try to convince ourselves of that. Now, while there is no comprehensive list to dictate when you should release something, you ultimately have to use your heart as a guide. Here are a few tips on when I think it truly is time to let go:
1. If the thought of something, someone or a particular situation causes you to feel physically exhausted, mentally drained or sick, it's time to let go.
2. If you've been in relationship, job, or other situations for what seems like forever and you can see no personal growth or maturity, it's time to let go.
3. If whatever you are carrying feels like you are carrying a 200-pound man or more, it's time to let go.
At our core, if we are honest with ourselves, we always know when it's time, but we often feel powerless to do it. Trust me, you aren't powerless! Put on your big-girl pants and step out on faith, with the knowledge that you are opening up yourself to great and boundless possibilities.
It's ok to let it go
Just because something is familiar doesn't mean it has to be part of your life all the days of your life. As we grow, change and evolve, we will have to leave certain persons, places, things and nonsense behind, and that's OK. In fact, in many instances, this is the true indicator of growth, so embrace it.
As I close out my four weeks of sharing with you in Flair Magazine, about me, my brand and our retreat, I invite you to join us for our weekend of exploration, rejuvenation, sharing and growing at the beautiful Sunset at the Palms in Negril.
We intend to push past our comfort zones, stretch the limits of our minds and come away feeling more beautiful, conscious and amazing than we ever have been leaving everything which no longer serves us right there in Negril!
And remember: Do you. Be you. Jump off into your 'amazing' ... unapologetically.
• Kaysha is founder of Unapologetically WOMEN and co-host of Soulful Oasis All-Inclusive retreat. For more tips and tools on living life on purpose join UW for their retreat in Negril where they will be dealing with this theme along with 'Celebrating all that we are as Women' and 'Releasing the Old, Embracing the New'. Contact her at kaysha@unapologeticallywomen or www.unapologeticallywomen.com for more details.