Things You Used to Do: Old vs New
Jamaica has a popular proverb: "Si mi an come live with mi a two different thing." When translated, it reads to see me and to live with me are two very different things. For many partners, the key to a happy life is consistency. So Flair decided to explore the famous saying a little further, with a twist.
Welcome to 'Things You Used to Do: Old vs New', where we will share from the couples' perspective things they once did in the beginning of the relationship, which they no longer do, or do differently. Their responses may surprise you, so buckle up for this ride on the roller coaster of past to present.
One of the things that stood out for me was the level of conversing. In the initial stages, we couldn't stop talking to each other. I mean constantly, wanting to know what was happening. But after a while, the conversations weren't as stimulating so communication fell off. This has happened in every single relationship I've had. Things like, he used to write me poems and then he stopped. I will get one every now and then after I cuss, but in initial days I used to get one every day.
- H.M., female, in a
relationship for two year.
My wife used to pamper me, cutting my nails and attending to my feet before marriage. After marriage, that stopped completely.
- R.S., male, married
for nine years.
If anything, I've probably been less attentive in the attention department of our relationship because we are both going to school and working. But when we can, we go out of town, when we have the time, and spend quality time together.
- J.M., male, in a
relationship for five years.
My boyfriend smoked very often. It's generally something I'm not attracted to, especially when I get a whiff of the odour from that cigarette or weed when we kiss. Now, he doesn't smoke like before. Only when we go to a party, and it's still not on every occasion. Apart from that he doesn't smoke at all. Also, we are both dancers and when we go to parties, guys and ladies might want to 'buss a wine' with us individually. He doesn't like it and neither do I, so we basically cut that out also. My only dance partner is him, and it's the same with him, even if we aren't at the same party. We respect each other to not do it.
- S.D, female, in a
relationship for six years.
My girlfriend cooked whenever she could, which was often enough because I was the workaholic of the relationship. Now, because work randomly keeps her out late, she is not able to as much during the week and I miss her cooking.
- G.W., male, in a relationship three years.
When we were just dating, I used to receive freshly picked flowers either as a cheer-me-up or just because. Now that he has stepped up to a single rose, I'll get one only once in a while on special occasions, or when he has done something terrible and wants to makeup.
- A.A, female, in a relationship for four years.
When my boyfriend and I met each other, we were both lovers of music. It was no surprise that when we met up after classes we would play our favourite type of music, 'lovers rock', cook and just share memories and experiences we've had before we met each other. This brought us closer, but after we got closer, these 'lovers sessions' were no more. Though we let go of old habits, we have gained new ones. Now that we live together, we ensure we have date nights and take time to talk. However, recently we have renewed our 'lovers sessions'.
- K.G, female, in a relationship for four years.