Thu | Oct 18, 2018

He was wrong all along

Published:Monday | October 10, 2016 | 12:00 AMKrysta Anderson

We're all out here patiently waiting for our Mr Right to come along and sweep us off our feet. But sometimes, as independent women, we tend to take matters into our hands in the pursuit of happiness. But what could be the ramification of such an assertive conquest? Not realising that in the battle for love, this particular soldier fell short of the mark in chivalry, integrity, faithfulness or bravery.

So we asked a few of our female readers, when did they realise that their boyfriends, potential, actual, or a ticking time bomb blast from the past was wrong all along. Their answers will shock you! Here is what they had to say:

• I think I realised he was wrong all along when I found out that he had been lying about having a child. Not being truthful was bad enough, but he knew how I felt about babymother drama, and decided to lie for his own selfish gains: that was it for me.

- H.C, 26.


- When his whole demeanour changed towards me and when his efforts to communicate weren't the same, I took the hint and said goodbye.

- S.C., 24


- After a while, he didn't care to share his feelings, and when his responses became friendly, I said hmm. When things became one-sided and selfish and it was all about him and what he wanted, and when we constantly argued for the smallest things, that was the last straw for me.

- P.C., 28


- So we had been best friends for years and decided to start dating. He seemed a little jealous, but knowing his background I thought that eventually it would go, but it was a year in the relationship and he went through my phone and I started to realise that it was getting out of hand. Then we were walking and a man was looking on me. I did not even notice the man, but my boyfriend did, and decided to go off on the man, asking him if his eyes are full. Then he went off on another man, when the man said, 'hey browning, you look good', even though I never responded. He was absolutely crazy. I pulled the plug on our relationship shortly after that.

- V.H, 22


- I knew he wasn't the one for me when he started making little remarks about my family and friends and got upset over how much time I spent with them.

- S.C., 34.

- Honestly, that last relationship, I started seeing red flags but ignored them. Like when I told him having sex wasn't an option anymore his response raised one, then later in, he couldn't look at me anymore because it turns out he was cheating on me.

- L.M., 29


- He was a friend. We went on one hang out, it was not even a date, and I was suddenly his girlfriend. Now, I did not even know that we were going in that direction much less had got there. But he was there with no turning back for him, even though I begged him to take it slowly. I went on to saying just step back, then eventually just leave me alone. It was a disaster. One of my most stressful break-ups, if you can even call it that.

- J.K, 30


-  I'd say that I found out definitively that he was wrong all along maybe after a year or so in the relationship. And 'found out' really means the moment at which I decided to be honest with myself and accept all the strikes against him. A friend encouraged me to take the time to make a list of positives and negatives about him and our relationship, and it was then that I came to the realisation that he really wasn't the person for me.

- K.M, 32


- It was the beginning of the relationship and it was great, until the day I saw him put another woman's feelings over mine. I thought it was beginning of the end for me so I left him.

- A.M., 35