Tue | Mar 20, 2018

New Year, New Love

Published:Monday | January 2, 2017 | 12:00 AMKrysta Anderson

With the new year at hand, it might be the right time to approach love in a new way. Today, Flair shares the story of two couples who have made the decision to listen to their intuition and follow their heart. May you follow their example and go after what makes you happy in the new year.

Samantha Swaby* never thought she would ever settle down. She had just acquired her dream job, but when it came to her love life, she was living a nightmare. "I just never seemed to pick the ideal boyfriend. I'd see the warning signs, but ignore them, only to find myself walking away, wasting my time in the process," she explained to Flair.

A particularly tumultuous relationship led to a horrific rebound, which sent her running right back into the arms of her once beloved. While she kept up the facade among family and friends, she was keeping a dark secret. Not only was she unhappy, her boyfriend was about to become a father.

A few months later she was dethroned, and the mother of his child became priority. "I was actually accommodating of his mistake. If anything, I was a little too accommodating. But I couldn't change the past - what was done was done. So I tried my very best to work around it," she said. But even her very best wasn't good enough. So mentally, she called it quits.


By January of the new year, she began seeing a friend in a different light. She said he was charming and sweet, but admitted that she had no interest in being in a relationship. But fate had other plans. She attended a party he was at, and they spent some quality time together.

Her ex continued to call, wanting to talk things over. But by then she was far gone. By chance her ex spotted her and her new beau talking and laughing on the way home and got the message. He never called back.

At her lowest and most vulnerable, this new man was right by her side to wipe her tears. She was grateful, not just for the attention, but for the support she had not received from a man in such a long time. By March, she took a leap of faith when he asked her to be his girlfriend. Four years on and she hasn't looked back.

Harry Parker* seems to be facing the same fate as it approached the new year. His on-again off-again relationship with his ex became too much for one man to bear. "She wanted constant attention, knowing very well how demanding my job is. Once I asked for her understanding, especially during a hectic time, but she gave me a tongue lashing with threats of going back to her ex-boyfriend," he confessed.

Every time he walked away, she would come around, apologise for all her wrongdoings and promise to do better. But, when she got comfortable, she returned to her old ways, making him more miserable in the process. "I tried to turn to others for help, particularly my best friend. When she gave me sound advice about the situation, I would act accordingly, pointing out reasons for my conclusions. But my girlfriend would turn around and blame my friend for not supporting our relationship, even though I knew my best friend only wanted what was best for me and meant no harm."


Threats turned into promises, promises became extra-curricular activities and she began playing hokey-pokey with Parker's heart. When tragedy struck in her life, he did his very best to be there, even took time from work just to be with her. She was, however, torn between who to turn to and Parker gave her an ultimatum: "It was either him or me, that's what I told her. And when she took too long to make the decision, I made it for her, and we went our separate ways."

He noted that she tried crawling back to him, but he was over everything, including her. Since their break-up, he has received a promotion at work, and has even found a new flame, to whom his ex pales in comparison. "The calls continued, but when I told her I had found someone new, she was shocked, began cursing me for playing with her heart. I told her I was better off on my own and so was she, and that she should have a good life. She hasn't called me since. Now, all I am focusing on is ringing in the new year with my new love."

*Name changed upon request