Sat | Mar 17, 2018

The ready-made man

Published:Monday | February 27, 2017 | 12:28 AMKrysta Anderson

If black history has proven anything, it is that melanin 'sistas' have gained their independence, ditching or balancing the kitchen with earning a living. Now that they have become breadwinners in their own right, how then can a black man even begin to match or top that? What does he plan to bring to the table?

It is on that basis the concept of the ready-made man was born. What is the ready-made man, you might ask? Well, that differs from woman to woman. It may mean that her boyfriend or soon-to-be-betrothed should know how to drive and own a top-of-the-line car. She may prefer if he lives on his own and has no children to avoid all the 'baby mother' drama. He might need to be working six figures or more before he goes knocking at her door. Or she may want to be wined and dined, he may even be required to pay her bills, provide spending money, and shower her with lavish gifts. Or maybe all she needs from him is loyalty and unconditional love. This list could go on, but you get the general idea.


What this means for the average man trying to sweep his potential leading lady off her feet is this: if he doesn't meet most of her criteria, then it's pretty much over before it even started, with no hopes of him ever auditioning to be her co-star of their award winning movie called 'Love'. Consequently, she stays lonely with pipe dreams of Prince Charming in the corner of her mind.

So, given all that you now know, how do you move towards achieving the impossible and winning her heart? Here are a few tips to bridge the gap and create history in making the man ready enough to be his woman's better half.

-Be an independent man: That's one of the things an independent woman looks for in a man. Have your own goals and dreams and work towards achieving them. Nothing beats accomplishing all you wanted and having an independent woman by your side to show you some love by treating you to a grand celebration. After all, she can afford it.

- Be a strong communicator: This means listening to what she says and what she doesn't say. It is here that you will discover new meaning of 'actions speak louder than words' and she will appreciate you for it.

- Be consistent and persistent: Sometimes a woman builds that wall of independence to shield her vulnerable heart from ever getting hurt (again). You know, on some special packages you get, it says 'Fragile, handle with care'? Apply that concept here, and be persistent and consistent in breaking down that wall, brick by brick. P.S., fellas, thereís a fine line between persistence and outright stalking - don't cross it.

- Equality: The same way she requires equality in the boardroom, she expects equality in the home as well. That may mean pulling your weight as far as household chores go. A woman may not mind cooking or cleaning, but she would like you to be able to hold down the fort, if she is unable to do so.

- Be her support system: Jealousy and being clingy are an independent woman's worst enemy. Instead, show her respect and appreciate all that she does. Also, be supportive of her needs, yet strong enough to make her feel safe and secure. And when in doubt, it always helps to lighten the mood and take her mind off her hectic day at work with your sense of humour.

- Brawta: Cut him some slack ladies. If he's trying, entertain his potential and see with his mistakes. After all, itís not only about the mistakes they make, itís how they learn from them, giving you the greatest love you would have ever experienced.