Fri | Jul 20, 2018

Parental Punishment - Good Cop Bad Cop

Published:Monday | May 15, 2017 | 12:00 AM

We are all familiar with the concept of good cop, bad cop when it comes to law enforcement. One might handle a situation in a passive manner, while the other may use a more aggressive approach.

So, with that in mind, how many parents apply this same technique to discipline their child or children? And if that is in fact the case, who is the good cop, and who plays the bad cop. The Flair wanted to find out.

According to mother of one, Tina Hamilton, it's mostly good cop in her household, from both her and her husband, "Well, we are both complete wusses. But depending on the circumstances, we like to interchange."




Sometimes, she's the good cop and sometimes dad is the good cop. What's important is that they stick together on the values that they want their daughter to have and work from there.

"We both spoil her at times, too. Chocolates, Devon House Ice Cream, the works. However, when it comes to discipline, we try to be united," she explained. If he sees something wrong, he will reprimand her. And the same with her, "If she complains to one of us, we always ask, 'Well what did Mommy or Daddy say?'"

When asked which parent their daughter loves more, Hamilton had this to say, " It depends on how she feels at the moment.

She's five years old so she's still working on who she likes better." She continued, "I get bigger hugs when I come home from work, but Daddy gets the morning hugs and kisses. If one of us disciplines her, she tends to hang on to the other until she's ready to apologise. Then she gives the disciplinarian some love, lots of 'I'm sorries' and 'I love yous'."

Mother of one Sasha Miller confessed that when it comes to parenting her son, she does more of the discipline and dad does more of the playtime. "It's not intentional, it's just how it is. Both of us can get really serious, but I am more assertive. I do tell him that daddy is going to beat him sometimes to instil the fear in him, but he's never scared."




If dad is punishing their son, Miller noted, her son goes running to her and if she gets strict, he runs to dad. But ultimately, he prefers mommy. "I asked my son, why does he loves me more. He said because I hug and kiss him. I do show him affection. Plus his dad is often away for work. So he is used to me being around more. But I think the love we have is unexplainable. It's like an unwritten mother-son relationship magnet. It's like girls and their dads."

Speaking of dad and their girls, father of three Dean Miller stated that he's all good cop when it comes to discipline, "I think I'm the good cop because my wife is loud, very demanding and will even beat the kids. I am the one who will calm everyone down, find a quiet space and talk things over or find alternative punishment options." He also pointed out that he knows all of his children prefers to deal with him because he is more peaceful, more rational but in retrospect, definitely more gullible.