Sun | Dec 17, 2017

The business of Casual Sex

Published:Monday | July 31, 2017 | 12:00 AM

Women can do it all and, fellas, they also want it all! Sometimes that means a man needs to cash into the registers instead of investing in the property. Swiping through our goodie jar and collecting our climax reward rather than renewing your life insurance for two, with hopes of a happily ever. Sometimes we just want to be put into erotic positions and get busy without having a man all up in our personal business. That's the real business of casual sex.

But there are times, without even knowing it, a man decides to cross the line. Here are a few rules for men on how to ensure the pleasures of casual sex.

 

Leave your emotions out of it

 

Women are emotional creatures; they can't help it. So if they decide to travel down this sexual road with you, know that it means that they have turned off the lights of romance or anything remotely intimate. I know that they always say whatever is in the dark must come to light, but in this case, don't turn on the light. That will break the barrier between fantasy and reality, as women in this situations don't want that.

 

Be a version of yourself

 

They tend to say 'be yourself', but who are we kidding? In these scenarios, it's best to be you, but not be you at the same time. To bridge that gap, be a version of yourself. And to tip the fantasy scale, be the version of yourself that she likes.

 

Pinch, leave an inch, and roll

 

Nothing blurs the line more than when things get reckless. Not only would a woman have to be worried about the possibility of a pregnancy, but there's no way to keep track of what goes on when you're not around, and with AIDs and other STIs on the rise, it's better to be safe than to be sorry. Stranger danger is real, so be a responsible adult, play responsibly - pinch, leave an inch, and roll.

 

Satisfy her needs, not yet wants

 

This is very important. Men like to say they have needs. Women have needs, too. Be her escape and satisfy her every lustful desire. But when it comes to her wants, don't fulfil them: slow your roll, or hit the brakes completely. Stick to the strokes of the highway and avoid bumper-to-bumper traffic.

 

Establish boundaries and stick to them

 

The ball is in both your courts. There's no hard-and-fast way to strike up a deal when engaging in casual sex. Just ensure that you both agree to the sensual terms and conditions of the arrangement, then sleep on it (literally and sexually speaking) *wink*.

 

If things change, be honest about it and abort mission

 

Say you both may dance this tango for a while. Over time, feelings may develop. But that was never the understanding, so what do you do then? Be completely honest with each other. It makes no sense to have one partner doing it for the likes and the other is doing it for love. Who knows? This revelation may even pay off and you both might be crossing over into the realm of a relationship - you never know.

 

All or Nothing

 

Show me a distracted man in the bedroom and I can show you an annoyed and disgruntled woman. If this is what you signed up for, make sure you're always in it to win it. Or please don't enter.

 

Be a man in the streets but a freak between the sheets

 

No woman needs her business on the streets. This is a binding, grinding agreement between two - keep it to yourself. If you're not man enough for the job, you let her know. But if you are man enough, effortlessly slide your way in and focus on all of her erogenous zones, sending her so high into cloud nine that she won't ever want to come down!

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com