Mon | Nov 20, 2017

Kelly's World | (Don't always) Lose yourself to dance

Published:Monday | September 11, 2017 | 12:00 AM

There's a joke that says you should dance like no one is watching, which they aren't doing because they're all on their cell phones.

In that case, people like me can 'drop foot' in peace.

The thing is, whenever I do go to parties (about as rare as a full solar eclipse), I usually tend to restrict my dancing to a very, VERY, small piece of real estate.

In fact, give me a little spot close to the food and/or drinks, away from but not totally distant from the speakers, and in good view of the exit, and I'm fine.

I try to keep up with the latest moves, but too many of them require a bit more energy and agility than I presently have.

A senior colleague always chides me good-naturedly that I simply don't move my feet when I 'dance'.

I've often wondered what exactly they expect from me? Who says I have to have moves like The Temptations or Jackson 5? New Edition maybe?

But my dancing level at any event is heavily linked to my arrival time at said event. So if I get to a party and things are in full swing, I'm not likely to be amped up like other partygoers. Guess it's because I'm like your grandfather's old car, I take a while to get going.

Of course, what constitutes as dancing for an older generation is probably much different from what it is for younger folk today.

I've often heard people talk about how dancing nowadays is like fighting. Women are jumping off speakers, walls and rooftops and landing on men.

Men are slinging women around like rag dolls, and 'daggering' them in the most alarming ways.

Call me boring, but dem kinda dancing deh will leave you in the hospital more than anything else.

For me, dancing generally is something best done after one has had a drink or two. Note, a drink or two; not the whole crate of beer!

Scientifically, it's been proven that the consumption of a little alcohol can help loosen you up a bit.

However, I've seen more than a few people who were stone cold drunk and their dancing skills did not improve.

So there's a case for moderation. But I guess you have to actually have dancing skills to begin with, so the alcohol has something to work with.

I have tremendous respect for dancers, both the professionals and those who have never had any formal training.

But I have to tell you, sometimes I think the dances look very similar. I mean, I do realise that at some point, you will take some moves from other eras. It's the same thing with songs. Everybody is sampling these days.

That's how I know I'm old. People are sampling songs I know came out when I was a child. Yikes!

But hey, it's a living. And from a local perspective, guys like Ding Dong and Chi Ching Ching seem to be doing just fine.

So who am I to judge? Fling Unnu shoulda yes. 'Cause I sure can't.

Link me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com