Sat | Oct 20, 2018

A DM on love and technology

Published:Monday | September 25, 2017 | 12:00 AM

"It goes down in the DM." This song is the reality for so many who seize the opportunity to interact and communicate via social media. But while the introduction of technology to couples can be incredible, it can also inflict more pain than it does pleasure. Here are a few ways social media may enhance or cause destruction to your overall relationship.





Bonus or Minus Ally


Nothing is wrong with a having a little extra when it comes to matters of the heart. So if you can satisfy her physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, try to woo each other virtually as well and let your love for your partner go viral in his or her heart.

Technology can create a language barrier between yourself and your lover. If the messages sent and the time spent on the phone over any social-media platform aren't directed towards him or her, the World Wide Web would have disrupted the flow of communication and even quality time, thereby distracting engagement in language of love from even taking place.


Documentation of desire


If you both get actively involved in documenting your desire for each other, splashing it all over social media as relationship goals for all to see, then that's great for the love department of your union.

But if you talk up all the time posting about the time spent together, you might have missed out on enjoying the actual romantic or sentimental experience. You don't have to document everything: there is such a thing as going overboard, even on social media. Additionally, this documentation of desire, whether intentionally or otherwise, might set you or your other half up for surveillance and scrutiny, and in some cases, added attention from others attracted to the chase of the unavailable, so cheating had become even easier because of direct messaging (DM). Ensure that both parties are on the 'up and up'. One slip in the public or private domain and you or your significant other might be the one sliding into a separation. There's always a 'paper trail' in cyberspace, something deleted could've already been screenshot for other purposes, such as evidence against, so use the Internet wisely.


Password Protection


Almost every user of a smartphone has a password code these days. And why wouldn't you? You'd probably want to keep those very intimate details of your relationship private and confidential. And here's the thing: if that phone is stolen, for instance, you would have a code that those perpetrators wouldn't know. But, what was once in the dark would be in the light of another eye, and nobody wants their business out there like that.

Also, and this is a twist that often comes up it or causes heated exchange between lovebirds. "Why do you need a password on your phone? What are you hiding." And so, your precautiouary method of privacy has become a weapon of dating destruction.


Change in status


In a relationship, engaged or getting married? This change in status can be found mostly on platforms such as Facebook and Instagram, either through a literal status or handle change, or with frequent posts. And even though basking in bliss, from casual to official and even nuptial is a beautiful thing, it can also be pressuring for the other member of the union, or even for other couples - anything can start an argument these days and that includes what this friend and what that friend did. And if the status were to change, that would mean undoing or deleting all that you had previously shared, during your time of heartache - easier said than done. We all know Facebook like to remind us of memories: imagine one if your ex popping up when you least expect it, or worse, when you're not prepared for it.