Mon | Dec 18, 2017

Things men don't say

Published:Monday | October 23, 2017 | 12:00 AM

Women are pros at sending subliminal messages, they can't help it. But with men, that's definitely not the case. There are, however, certain things that they don't say, or would much prefer not speak about as it relates to getting physical in the bedroom and beyond, in matters of the heart. Here are a few obvious and some surprising factors to consider with your male partner:

 

Assurance and reassurance

 

Just like women, men like to feel confident that you're there for them and that you are his ride or die chick who doesn't only have his back right now but in the future. And they don't mind being reminded of that fact every now and then. Get creative in showing why you're down for his love.

 

Respect and Kindness

 

Respect and kindness should certainly go both ways in any relationship. Some women have lost sight of giving and instead focus on the receiving end of the deal. Strike that balance: shower him with more kindness and give him the respect he so rightfully deserves.

 

Space

 

Nobody wants space in a relationship more than a man. Clinging as if it were second nature, women often resort to smothering mode just to get attention. Men like to do the complete opposite, hanging on with all their might to their individuality. Let them do so freely without the burden of feeling guilty for being away from you. Who knows? It may work out in your favour: exuding your independence while giving him some 'freedom' may have him wanting you more than ever! Additionally, when an argument has ensued between you, his leading lady and him: don't be the antagonist of your own love plot. Allow him both time and space to breathe, process and assess what previously transpired, trusting that he will return in a calmer, more rational state, ready to discuss the difficulties you're both facing together.

 

Unwavering support and strength

 

Support in this case means encouraging and motivating him through his goals and his dreams, even his hobbies too. Being there for him through the good, the bad and the ugly, sitting silently with him, functioning as his soundboard or offering solid advice which will contribute to the betterment of his ventures.

 

Quality time

 

Believe it or not, men appreciate quality time too. Work or family can take away from the time you both want or need to spend together. Quality time provides a rest button, to awaken your sense of romance, refreshing and rekindling the love and desire you both have for each other. Which man wouldn't want to light that fire with his significant other?

 

Cuddle and Comfort

 

Now here's a surprising one. Do men want emotional intimacy outside of sex? Well, the answer is yes! They actually enjoy snuggling up with you in comfort, knowing that you are his safe haven, so welcome him with open warm arms. Also, he may opt for affection outside of sexual gratification, a kiss here, an embrace there, or a wel- needed sensual massage everywhere, so that he can feel your love.

 

Effective Communication

 

Many love to say men don't like to communicate. And while that might very well be true, sometimes women don't help it with the way they communicate: it's not only about what you're saying, it's how you're saying it too. Sometimes you can turn down the sentimental and turn up the sultry, and see how he responds.

 

Privacy

 

Men are just as big, if not bigger, on privacy. It doesn't mean that he has something to hide, but just like us women, he likes to keep a little to himself. Never push him to reveal his secrets, instead allow him to feel that level of trust so that at the right moment, he will pour his heart out to you.

 

Pressure-free zone

 

The pressures from work are bad enough, getting additional from home or in his relationship only adds insult to injury. Become his tropical oasis, change your evening plans, your morning plans or your weekend plans with him in mind and create that sweet escape he craves.

 

Duty-Free Sex

 

So, you know when you go to the airport, you're able to do duty-free shopping, right? How much better is the experience that you no longer have to pay the tax? The same concept can be applied to your love life. I get it: you always want to make love, but if he wants it, why not get in the mood and give him exactly what he wants and how he wants it? And if you go halfway, he can more than tell that you're not putting your all into it, so don't do it for the like, do it for the love: eliminate the 'taxes' of the bedroom and make it a duty-free zone, doing it for the luxury of pleasing your sweetheart.

 

A Partnership

 

 

Being committed to each doesn't stand on its own to make a partnership work. Men need to be comforted in knowing that you are willing to compromise in order to make the tough times work. He will then make the necessary changes to satisfy your needs as long as you're up to the task of handling his. Create that harmony between you both and go half and half on the sweetness of love.

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com